life is a blessing

There's Power!

2011-06-22T23:52:00.000-07:00

This evening I began a new program with our kids at church. It's called Power Lab and it is a Vacation Bible School (VBS) curriculum. We are not having a VBS this summer, so I decided to use the curriculum as a Wednesday night class. I think it kicked off well!

Tonight we talked about the 10 lepers that Jesus healed in the book of Luke. The kids all got "infected" with little dot stickers and had to be quarantined, which of course, they loved. We also made little beaker key chains for a craft. It was a fun evening for all.

Thinking about being thankful, I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to minister to the kids in our church. I take this ministry very seriously. In James 3:1 it says Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. Besides teaching the kids, I am teaching myself because I have to make sure what I am saying is truly bible based and blessed by God. If I go all willy nilly and teach what I think, our ministry will not be blessed and God would have some choice words for me when I stand before Him in judgement.

The kids can be overwhelming at times and sometimes I feel so worn out, but when I know that I most likely am the only person they will ever hear talk about Jesus, it is completely worth it. My pastor used to be the Childrens director and sometimes he talks about how he hears from the kids he used to teach and how excited he gets when he sees one of them come back into the church. I look forward to that experience. In 5, 10, or 20 years hearing a kid talk about how silly I was in class or how they remember something we used to do, or (what I look forward to the most) seeing one of these kids getting married and starting their own families while serving God themselves.

I do this because I want to hear 5 words from the Lord when I go to Heaven.

"Good job my faithful servant."

angry

2011-06-20T23:13:00.000-07:00

Have you ever played Angry Birds?

Take my advice, don't! It's addicting!

Anybody still out there?

2011-06-19T22:55:00.000-07:00

As we can tell by the date of my last post, yes, I have been away from my blog for quite awhile. I apologize, but you need to understand... I have 2, yes TWO crazy babies that take up quite a bit of my time at the moment.

Roo and Lou are all over the place. They have taken their first steps and are really starting to get the hang of walking around. Roo is becoming more and more of a Mamas boy and Lou likes to make sure we know when he is not at his happiest.

The kiddo is officially a third grader now and is on summer vacation! Yay! I have said it here before, I am not one of those parents who dread when school is out. I love to have my kiddo home. I like to hang out with her and I love no school days.

I am still super busy with my church, paired up with taking care of the twins and the kiddo while the hubbs is still in school pretty much gives me zero time to do much else. I am trying to learn how to say "no" to taking on too much stuff, but it is hard. I don't want to let people down, but at the same time, my family needs to come before anything else (except the Lord, nothing comes before Him).

I will figure it out soon, hopefully. As soon as I do, I'll let you know. While I am doing that, I'll also try to post more on my blog. :)

James

2011-04-05T12:21:00.001-07:00

I just did a bible study with Mark Hall of Casting Crowns on facebook on the book of James and that is what started it, or maybe, the study just brought what God has been trying to tell me all along.

First of all, the book of James is AH-MAZ-ING! All the books in the bible are awesome, especially when you break them down and just study a small amount of verses. James though, oh man, good stuff!! I encourage every person to check out Mark's study on facebook or youtube. You will learn so much.

In the first chapter of James, he (James, not Mark, lol) talks about asking God for wisdom. We need to ask God, and most importantly, HAVE FAITH when we do it! If you ask God for wisdom, but don't really believe in your heart that he will give it to you, then why bother?? In fact, if your not going to have faith in anything you ask God for, then why are you praying in the first place? When I am in prayer and I ask God for something, I am hoping IN FAITH, that He answers my prayers. The thing is though, He knows what is best for us and will give us what we NEED, not just what we WANT.

In verse 19 James tells us we need to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. Wow, imagine that - don't start flapping your jaw before you have actually heard everything the other person has to say! We need to think about what we are saying before the words come out of our mouth. Why? Because we can never take back the words we say. Maybe we even need to think about what the other person (or people) were saying before we decide to give them our opinions.

I want to put it out there one more time - check out the James bible study with Mark Hall. Each session is about 10 minutes and there are a total of 20 sessions. Love it.

trembles

2011-03-17T23:15:00.000-07:00

My heart hurts for those in Japan. So many are dead and missing. What is worse is that so many are lost. Not lost as in physically, but lost spiritually. There are many false gods worshipped in Japan and I pray that those who still have the opportunity can give their hearts to the one true Lord who will give them eternal life.

We have been praying for those affected by the earthquakes and tsunamis. The kiddo felt really bad for the people of Japan and decided she would do something about it. After talking together, she decided to begin a fundraiser at her school. Money collection jars are in all the classrooms for 2 weeks. Right before Spring Break begins; we will count the money, and then send it to the Red Cross. I am so proud of her wanting to help others. Seeing her do this as well as getting excited to see how much is raised for Japan makes me know I am raising her right.

The efforts at her school have rolled over to her kids group at church. Between school and church she will be asking for people everywhere to donate. The twins’ birthday is next week and I am sure she will be hitting up all who attend.

I pray that her heart continues to grow as she gets older. I know if it warms my heart as much as it does, God is looking down on her with a smile as well.

this time last year....

2011-03-06T22:31:00.000-08:00

... I was laying on my bed in my front room because I couldn't go upstairs anymore while I was on bed rest. In 16 days I would meet my babies face to face. I can not believe how fast this year has gone by. The hubbs brings up their upcoming birthday and I have to tell him to stop talking about it because it makes me tear up. I haven't been doing much in the planning department with their parties (yes, I am having 2) because I think I am in denial.

Parents always comment about how fast time goes by when your watching your children grow up, I think it goes by even faster when you have two babies! I remember different times in their short lives, but I feel like I don't get to revel in their accomplishments as much as I did with the kiddo.

The boys decided it was time to stand on their own this week and it was hard to watch. Of course I was excited to see them do something new, especially when they got so happy about it, at the same time, I just want them to be wrapped up in my arms again cooing and cuddling.

I am so, so grateful that God has blessed my family with 3 amazing children. Each of them have such awesome qualities and are growing into such wonderful people. I just wish they wouldn't do it so fast!

worship

2011-02-22T22:53:00.000-08:00

I attended a worship seminar this past weekend hosted by Tom Kraeuter. It was FABULOUS. I thought it would be about how to sing the music and/or the musicians part, but it wasn't. It was all about the importance of how we worship the Lord.

I'll tell you again, it was FABULOUS! (Seriously, it was that good I had to tell you twice)

It wasn't for any specific denomination and he spoke about what the Bible says about worship. Some of the points I have really taken to heart are below.

1. To truly be called worship, it must honor God. This might be one of those duh moments for some, but really, how many people think about other things during worship service? How many are thinking about where they will go to lunch or other things while our hands are raised, looking like we are worshipping, but are we really?
On Sunday during worship service, I checked myself during almost every song to make sure my mind was focused on God and how much I loved Him. I did catch myself once thinking something else and I quickly refocused and was drawn back into worship. I can happen easily and quickly. Your not a bad Christian if it happens to you, we just need to refocus and honor God, just like He deserves.

2. We need to remember that as a singer/musician/whatever position you might be on the worship team, that we are not performing. What we are doing on the platform should not be an act. It is not about us, it is all about HIM. If you refer to the platform as a stage or are too concerned that your not being heard, then you might want to think about why you are on the worship team.

3. What the Bible says about worship. Psalm 14:1 Clap your hands! Psalm 66:1 Shout for Joy to God.. Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God. We need to enjoy worship. There is no reason we can shout, clap our hands, and/or dance (Psalm 149:3 Let them praise his name with dancing...). We are not at a funeral people! We are rejoicing in the presence of our Heavenly Father!!!!
As a parent, I love to see my kiddo dance or to hear her shout to my how much she loves me. How much more do you think God would love to see you enjoying His presence with you? He wants to hear your voice telling Him how much you love Him. He wants to see you be happy, He wants to hear you tell Him how much you love Him!!

The last thing I want to share with you is something the speaker shared with us from Jerry Bridges. I love it and I am trying to memorize it so I can share it with others where ever I go.

Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace.

getting old!

2011-02-15T21:43:00.000-08:00

Oh my, I may only be 32, but tonight I am feeling much older! While growing up I never cared about my health. Now that I have children and am getting close to the age my Mom was when she had her first heart attack, I am now concerned.

I watch The View in the mornings (love Elizabeth, can't stand Joy!) and Barbara Walters has been talking a lot about heart health since her valve replacement last year.

Since heart disease runs in my Moms' side of the family, I went in to see my doctor to have some tests done. I told her I wanted all tests available that my insurance would cover done and she did. She called me tonight to tell me the results. Everything looked great (which surprised both of us)...

except...

My triglycerides. Those aren't too hot. I am considered in the high category and after talking with her, we decided to try to change my diet before trying any pills. Pretty much nothing that comes in a package should pass my lips anymore. Definitely no fast food.

We don't eat a lot of boxed dinners. We do use a lot of boxed food for lunch though. So no more top ramen for me! We also love to eat eggs in the morning. Especially runny eggs for me. That part will be tough, but I love cereal and I can eat my favorites - frosted mini-wheats and honey nut Cheerios. Lots of changes are about to happen in my household, but the benefits way out number the cons (though I am sure I will be complaining about it soon.)

I have already lost 8 lbs since I started working out a month ago. I have been using my Wii fit and just began Hip Hop Abs on Monday.

With the food intake changing, my weight loss is going to take off!

love like His

2011-02-09T12:27:00.000-08:00

Valentines' Day is fast approaching!

I have been thinking a lot about love and how we are commanded by God to love each other. I would like to know what that means to most people. We are supposed to love each other the way God loves us. We are to humble ourselves, not just to the Lord, but to others. When Jesus told the people to love others as we love ourselves, He was including our neighbors, our kids' friends, people who might aggravate us, and also people who speak negatively about us. We are not told to love those who it is easy to love, we are told to love EVERYONE.

A small part of this love that we are supposed to have includes not judging others.

Matthew 7:2-4 (NIV)
2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?

We have no right to judge others. Not to judge our friends, those who are against us, and (I think especially) other Christians! I can guarantee that there are better things we can be doing other than thinking about what our fellow brother or sister should or should not be doing. If we see blatant sinning, we need to pray about the situation and if God feels that I should go to the person about the sin, I need to go to that person with love in my heart and my words.

I need to look at what I am doing before I try to tell someone else (Christian or not) how to live their lives. I can see God, sitting on His throne at my time of judgement saying to me:

"Christie, who do you think you are? You have no right to tell so and so how to run their lives. You are not perfect as Jesus was, should I compare you to Jesus to determine whether or not you will be allowed into my kingdom?"

Ouch. I know I am supposed to try to be as Christ-like as possible, but as hard as I will try, I will never attain that perfection. No one will, heck, no one can! I can try though.... and that includes not judging others according to my standards, because maybe, God isn't working on that in their lives right now. If others are not meeting what YOU expect of them, then maybe God is trying to work on your heart.

I know He is working on mine.

Is there a move in my future?

2011-02-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

My nerves are tingling. My brain just won't stop running a million miles a hour. The Hubbs has a phone interview for a position in Pennsylvania!!!!! It is a long shot, but miracles happen every day! I am praying for Gods' will, hoping His will includes moving my family to Pennsylvania. :-)

I haven't told very many people as I know most of the responses will be negative. It is very nice to know we are loved and people don't want to see us go, but I also want good vibes for the interview. Most of my family here has passed on and I want my kids to be around family. Besides, last time we were over there I really fell in love with the area.

The town we would be living in is a very populated area, but it would get us over there. I could deal with it while the Hubbs looks for a job closer to family. We could go up to my in-laws on the weekends and my Mother-in-Law could (and would very happily) come stay with us sometimes as well.

I have a good feeling about this and I am very excited to see if God has something BIG planned for our future!

baby proofing

2011-01-26T17:40:00.000-08:00

The babies are all over the place now that they have learned how to crawl. The love to come see what I am doing in the kitchen or talk to me while I am folding the laundry. Roo is trying to pull himself up on things already and ends up hurting himself when he can't get a good footing or hold on whatever item he is trying to climb.

So today, all of our baby safety items came in the mail. The hubbs put up the gate while I attached the corner cushions and installed the outlet cover/cord shorteners. The boys are now busy playing with the gate trying to see what will fit through the slats and then getting upset when their toys are on the other side and they can't get to them!

Heres to being safe!

Anybody home?

2011-01-18T21:17:00.000-08:00

Good grief, it has been quite some time since I have posted! Here is a quick recap of what I have been doing!

We celebrated Christmas! It was wonderful, thank you!

We partied on New Years Eve at a friends house! (The kiddo is playing Just Dance on the wii)

This past weekend, we celebrated the kiddos 8th birthday! I cried! I can't believe she is 8 years old!!! She got her ears pierced and is starting to shop at Claires now instead of the toy section of walmart!

Right this moment, I am getting ready to go to sleep because we are sleep training the boys. They fall asleep quite easily, but wake up rough in the middle of the night and it takes about an hour or so to calm back down and go back to sleep. Here's to praying that tonight is a good night!

Santa Who??

2010-12-03T21:53:00.000-08:00

I am not a big fan of Santa Claus.

The kiddo believes in him and the boys will as well. We read The Night Before Christmas every year and leave him cookies and the reindeer a carrot, but I don't normally play him up anymore.

Why should I? I mean, why does he get all the credit for the awesome presents? I am the one who looked all over the Internet to figure out what it is she wanted and stood in line for almost (sometimes over) an hour. I am the one who saved the money for the gift, then wrapped it perfectly so she could rip it apart Christmas morning and jump for joy because she got exactly what she wanted.

I made my decision about Santa a few years ago, I think the kiddo was 3, maybe 4 when Santa only brought one gift under the tree and filled her stocking. I decided I didn't want to use Santa as a "be good" motive (though I have no qualms over parents who do!) After watching "The Polar Express," I noticed the little boy whose Christmas "just doesn't work out" and I felt so bad for him. I know it is a fictional movie, but there are children out there that Christmas doesn't work out for them and I thought, what if those children think they didn't get a present because they were bad? What if MY kiddo said to one of them "you must have been bad this year!" Good grief, I would be mortified!

This year I got the kiddo a gift she has been wanting for years and many people thought it would be her gift from Mr. Claus, but nope! Mama and Daddy are getting the credit for this gift. Santa is bringing her something she wants and her stocking will be full of gifts that she will love, but the "big" gift is from us. We will put out the cookies and milk and definitely NOT forget Rudolph (you know he will poop on your roof if you don't leave him something!), but when my daughter tells people what she got for Christmas, the gift she will mostly talk about will be from Mama and Daddy. The people who saved, and waited in line, and got her exactly what she wanted.

rock solid faith

2010-11-07T22:28:00.000-08:00

Matthew 19:14 (New International Version)

14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

God is amazing! I love it when He shows me how awesome He is through my children!

On Halloween the kiddo received some money from different people while trick or treating. One of the coins was a gold dollar. Whenever she receives a gold dollar she treasures it and uses it for something special.

Last Wednesday, when she checked into her kids church service, she gave her gold dollar to God. She plopped it into the offering cup, without telling me or any of the other adults.

On Saturday, we were getting ready to head over to our churchs' annual bazaar for lunch and I told her to grab some money to buy something. Her Father pulled out his wallet and handed her two dollar bills. After a minute or so, she said "I knew it!" I asked her what she meant and she told me about giving God her gold dollar and that she knew He would bless her, and He did!

Talk about rock solid faith!!!!

There is absolutely, no doubt in my daughters' mind that God loves her. That He cares about her and that He will bless her. Praise the Lord for her faithfulness!

NaNoWriMo

2010-10-26T23:35:00.000-07:00

November is National Novel Writing Month and there is a movement called NaNoWriMo to challenge people to write a novel, 50,000 words, in 1 month. I am thinking about taking on this challenge as I have always wanted to write about my teen years. Not a memoir, but a fictional book based on my life.

Now I don't think my life has been all that interesting, but when I have spoken with others about my past, it has been suggested to me that I should write a book about it. I think it is more about the contrast between my drug/alcohol use, looking for God, and just trying to figure out where I fit in.

NaNoWriMo challenges its' writers to just write. Not much, if any at all, editing. I would write and write, then upload what I have written and get my words counted. I will have to think more about this. I think I am leaning towards doing it. Sometimes, I like a good challenge.

To find more information about NaNoWriMo, check it out here

)o: poor baby :o(

2010-10-25T23:37:00.000-07:00

My baby boy, Lou, has an infection. Impetigo to be exact and he is having a rough time with it. It's contagious until the fluid in the rash is gone, so trying to keep the boys away from each other has been quite a task to tackle. Especially now that they are mobile (they are rolling back and forth!) and they love to attack each other. I had to leave them at home with Daddy while the kiddo and I went to church. They may be contagious, but I don't think that would hold back many of the "Grandmas" at our church.

It may be a common rash, but he is having a hard time getting rid of it. A antibiotic cream didn't get rid of it, so we had to start a harsh antibiotic oral medication and now my poor baby has the worst diarrhea ever. He is so uncomfortable and wants to be held all the time. He is pale and I can tell he is dehydrated and unfortunately for him, his pedialyte doesn't taste very good. Poor Roo has not been getting very much cuddle time with Mommy until Daddy comes home.

This is the only part of being a Mama I don't like. My baby hurting and everything I do isn't helping him. If you could include him in your prayers, I would greatly appreciate it. I want him to get back to his goofy, happy self.

Let's make something!

2010-10-24T22:27:00.000-07:00

Like baby food!

I decided to document the process I go through to make my sons' baby food. It is really easy and REALLY cheap!

I made squash. Butternut squash to be exact. Get a sharp knife!

Cut in half (doesn't need to be exactly in half, I don't think I have done a perfect cut yet!)

Wash your hands! Then scoop out the seeds and guts, rinse.

Throw them in a 350 degree oven until your can easily slide a fork through the flesh (not the skin!) It takes about 1 hour to 1.5 hours. Depending on the size.

Let it cool for about 10-15 minutes then (wash your hands!) cut the flesh and scoop it out into a clean glass bowl.

Using a mixer, puree the squash to the desired consistency. The mixer blades will grab the little strings that come out of the squash. If it isn't mixing well, you can add a little water, but I prefer not to. I like it to be pure food, not watered down.

Scoop the puree into an ice cube tray and tap it to get the air bubbles out. Each cube is approximately 1 ounce (standard ice cube trays) of food. Smooth it out and stick it in the freezer overnight.

In the morning, grab the tray, flip it over, and run some warm water over the bottom. It makes the cubes easier to get out.

Now get a freezer bag and label it with what the contents are and the date you made it.

Wash your hands and pop the cubes out one by one and put them in the bag. Squeeze the air out and pop it back into the freezer.

Now whenever you want to feed your baby the food, wash your hands, and just pop out a cube (or two) and place in a microwave safe bowl. Heat for about 15 seconds or however long it takes to make the food lukewarm and viola! You have homemade, yummy, not watered down or added salt baby food! You will get 8-16 servings out of each tray (depending on how much your baby eats).

Gerber baby food jars are about 60 cents per jar. Say your baby eats 2 ounces per serving. You will save AT LEAST $4.80! The squash cost me $1.50, so my final savings were $3.30. I save that every time I make my baby food and I'm not worried about any sort of recall or additives. I LOVE IT!!!

binkies

2010-10-17T22:00:00.000-07:00

See those cute boys with the binkies in their mouths? I am a binky Mama. Not because I can't soothe my babies. Not because I prefer my babies to suck on binkies rather than their fingers. I choose binkies (pacifiers) because they could possibly save my babies lives.

Pacifiers can reduce the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) by two thirds. Don't believe me? Check these out:

Newsweek
MSNBC

There are lots more sources that state the same information. Who knows exactly why they lower the risk, but they lower my anxiety level when my babies go to sleep. Granted, my boys use their binkies more than just sleeping, especially now that they are teething, but lowering the risk by 2/3 is quite awesome by itself!

Why you should be involved with your childs' education

2010-10-12T23:18:00.001-07:00

Research has proven that children whose parents are involved in their education have better attitudes, grades, and school attendance. There is absolutely no reason for a parent to not be an active participant of their childs' education.

You work? Sit down and so homework WITH your child. Read with your child (20 minutes a day!) Attend parent-teacher conferences! Email your child(ren)s teacher every once in awhile to check on how they are doing in class.

Have time during the day? Volunteer in the classroom! Can't stand the other kids? Make copies for the teacher. Prepare some materials for him or her. Help out with the PTO/PTA.

I have been involved with the kiddos' education ever since she started in preschool. This is the first year I have been home and able to go into the classroom pretty much any time, any day. I haven't yet made it in, but will be starting next week. When your child is in preschool/kindergarten it is so much fun! You get to do a lot of crafts and fun things. Once the numbers begin (1st, 2nd, etc.) the crafts start to disappear and reading and math help begin. This is when it is really important to become an active helper!

It is my opinion that children in the country are scoring lower on assessments because the parents are lacking in proper education help. It is not up to the teachers in the country only. They are our children, how about we work with those who have been trained and help our children to excel in their education?

Some things this Mother is...

2010-10-03T23:19:00.000-07:00

I am a co-sleeper. I prefer to sleep with my babies IN my bed with me, unfortunately there isn't enough room for both the boys, the hubbs, and myself. They come into the bed with us a lot, but most of their sleeping is done in their crib next to the bed on my side. If I could have a bed large enough to hold the 4 of us AND the kiddo, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I "spoil" my babies and I pick them up when they cry. I will continue to do this for who knows how long. If the kiddo gets upset, she knows she can come straight to me and I will comfort her. Why should we let anyone cry it out? Tears should always be accompanied by hugs and kisses, even if your 31.

I spank. *gasp* Why?
Proverbs 13:24 (New King James Version)He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.
God commands parents to correct our children. It's not violence. It is discipline. There is a very fine line though. I have rules about spanking. Want to know them? I thought so.
1. Do not spank when angry. Both the parent and the child have to calm down before the punishment can be handed down. An angry parent can lead to out of control spanking.
2. 1 spank. On the bum.
3. No waiting till the other parent gets home. It makes the other parent look like the "bad" parent.
4. Every offense is not worthy of a spanking. Right now the kiddo knows she has done something really bad if she gets a spanking. About a year ago, the worst punishment was getting sent to her room. It changes as she grows.

Education is very important to me. School isn't the only place my children learn. Every situation has the opportunity to learn and I like to embrace that. School is highly important to me. Not only does the kiddo learn reading and math, but so many other learning opportunities happen there. Right now, she is just learning how to interact with people without Mom and Dad around. She is making own decisions and making friends without the influence of me (believe me, there are already friends I don't really like, but they are HER friends). As she progresses through grades, she will learn about different things and blossom into her own person. Granted, I want her to believe what I believe and feel what I feel about things, but how good of a Mother would I be if I didn't let her be herself?

Most importantly, I try to be a Christian Mother. My main goal, what I want for my children more than anything, is for them to be totally, completely and amazingly in love with Jesus. I want them to enjoy reading the bible and talking with God every day. I want their relationship with Him to be so strong that they can't stop praising Him every day. The only thing I can do for this, is to show them, every day, how much I love the Lord. By praying with them, reading my bible, and worshiping Him every opportunity I have.

Because, really, what is the point of having children if we can't enjoy them in this life, and in Heaven for eternity?

take a peek...

2010-09-30T23:15:00.000-07:00

... at my beautiful kids!

Good grief! God has surely blessed me and the hubbs with some wonderful babes!

God speaks

2010-09-19T11:03:00.000-07:00

While I am home today with my sick family instead of in church, I logged on to my Google reader to update myself with the blogs I follow (Bakerella, Pioneer Woman, Smittin Kitchen, Cake Wrecks, and Bring the Rain to name a few) and the first one I went to was BibleGateway.com's bible verse of the day and these 3 verses were waiting for me....

Ephesians 4:29
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Philippians 2:3-4
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Ephesians 5:1
“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children”

Each one spoke volumes to me this morning. How awesome the Lord is to put these out in my view this morning. He is amazing!

sugar, sugar

2010-09-16T21:32:00.000-07:00

I am planning on making most of the boys' food, depending on what is in season and the ease of making it (not making any type of meat). My Dad brought me some peaches and I pureed and froze them. I will be making applesauce soon and maybe some yams. Anyway, on to the real subject that I am writing about.

In the grocery store today I walked down the baby food aisle to take a look at some of the items I will be purchasing in the near future. I was looking at the ingredients and the pureed foods are ok, besides water being added. (I don't want to pay for watered down food when I can make it cheaper and not watered down) I looked at some of the prepared food, including the bitter biscuits, new yogurt melt aways, puffs, and fruit straws. Sugar was the 2nd ingredient on all of them!

Now I am sugars' number 1 fan for myself, but for my babies who are just getting ready to start eating something other than milk, I have a problem with that! The foods I listed above are all foods that I fed my daughter when she was a baby and she still loves her veggies and isn't obese, but I think there are better alternatives out there for parents to give their babies other than high sugar first foods.

I am going to have to look into food that I can possibly make to keep some of the sugar laden foods that I found tonight out of their diets at least for a little while. It just isn't for me and I am not about to judge any parent who does feed their baby those foods, because it is our choice as parents. I think I have more of a problem with the companies who don't put out a different product that could possibly be sweetened with natural fruit juice.

Speaking about judging, I am having a major problem with parents (specifically mothers) who judge other Moms over breastfeeding/formula, cloth/disposable diapers, etc. When will we (as a culture) start supporting families in their own decisions about how to raise our own children? I thank God for the friends I have surrounding me who support me and not criticize me about how I raise my children.

Just in case you assume so, no - my friends and I do not have all the same ideas and perspectives about raising our children.

ok, glad I got that out of my system :)

outsourced

2010-09-09T22:53:00.000-07:00

I haven't been excited to watch a television show for years, but I seriously can not wait till Thursday!!! This show looks HILARIOUS!

2nd grade

2010-09-08T22:30:00.000-07:00

Tuesday was the kiddo's first day of 2nd grade! I thought I was really going to lose it this time. The Hubbs actually had the day off so I took her to school and walked her in. She kept telling me "You can leave now Mama" and "I can do this by myself Mom." In my mind I know she can, but my heart is screaming - "You need me!" "Tell me you don't want me to leave you!"

No such luck.

She is becoming so independent. She went on a Daddy/Daughter date a couple of weeks back and ended up finding her friends and wanted to sit with them instead of cuddling up to her Daddy. He let her of course, but said it felt kind of weird having her up and leave so easily.

What happened to the days where she would slide her hand into mine every time we left the house? When did she become such a fashionista? And when did this admiration of the telephone begin?! Good grief, she is growing up too fast for me!

Speaking of growing up too fast, my boys are almost 6 months old and I am not ok with this! Lou keeps trying to sit up and Roo is finally starting to grow! My babies are trying to turn into toddlers and don't enjoy my constant cuddling anymore. They want to stretch out their little legs and hold their toes with their fingers. Yes, it is quite adorable, but I am already getting emotional about them growing up!

It could easily be because I am also experiencing how fast the kiddo has grown up. I am so thankful that I am enjoying each stage of my babies. I don't miss a thing and I know I won't regret not raising my own boys. I will never forget the tears I shed when I had to drop the kiddo off at daycare. I would cry the whole way to work thinking about what I was missing with her. When she was 4, I was finally able to spend time with her and I have loved every minute. I am so very thankful that God has created a way for me to be with my boys.

Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him. Psalm 127:3

a letter to my first born son

2010-08-28T23:18:00.000-07:00

My sweet Roo,

You are the happiest baby I have ever seen! You are always smiling, always laughing. Your eyes are so big and they sparkle just like the stars. When you smile your whole body smiles. I can tell when your smiling at someone by watching your ears rise up and your cheeks puff out. I love it!

You are so small - your in the 10th percentile in length/weight. Still wearing 0-3 months clothes, but your 5 months old! I am enjoying my little baby! Your so very bendable. You love to play with your feet all the time. You hate it when I put socks on you cause you can't hold on to your toes as well.

You are such a flirt! You love to look at ladies and smile. When they give you the attention you are wanting, you rub your head into my chest acting all shy making everyone who sees you doing this laugh. You have 2 special ladies in your life (besides Mommy and your big sister) who you love so much. Grandma T, who makes you smile as soon as you see her and your L, who now has her own baby and you get such a look on your face when you see her holding her newborn. I'm pretty sure your jealous! :-)

You and your brother lay on the floor, holding hands and looking at each other. Your already growing the special bond I have heard so many twins have. I anticipate listening to your conversations in the special "twin language" you will both share. Sometimes when your brother wakes you up with his cries at night, you cover his mouth with your hand trying to shush him.

I already know you are going to be a talker, just like me. You are so noisy with all your coos and babbles. You really like to make noise in church, maybe you will be a pastor or worship leader when your grow up. I pray you have a strong relationship with Christ. You and your brother came into this world through His will with lots of prayer. He has a plan for you both and I am excited to see you grow in His love.

Thank you for being such a sweet baby. I love you so very much.

a letter to my baby boy

2010-08-27T22:35:00.000-07:00

My sweet (not so) little Lou,

You were the last baby to leave my body, you are my baby boy. You are so sweet and gentle. At 5 months old you are already a sensitive little boy who loves to cuddle all the time. You drool all over the place, mainly because you are always smiling. You are long and lean, with beautiful blue eyes. You kick your legs all the time, sometimes hitting so hard you end up hurting yourself. I know it was you kicking me all the time when I was pregnant. Your long legs smacking into my ribs.

You are a noisy boy. You snort, pass gas, moan when you eat, snore, and suck your fists VERY LOUDLY all the time. You burp louder than your Daddy. You have a dorky laugh that sounds like your saying "Durrrr."

You like to help me with laundry already, sitting in your bumbo smiling at me while I tell you the colors of the clothes or what I am folding. You also help me cook, sitting in my arms while I stir or in your bouncy seat while I pour ingredients.

When you eat you hold your hands together like you are praying every single time. When I sing Jesus love me you smile so big. I know you are going to grow up to be a mighty man of God. I pray every day that you do.

These past 5 months have been amazing. You and your brother make being the Mommy of twins a much easier job than it is supposed to be. I have enjoyed watching you grow and learn. Thank you for the kisses and squeezes you give me every day. The smiles and laughs that I will treasure forever.

You are my sweet baby boy and I love you dearly.

back to school

2010-08-22T22:02:00.000-07:00

On Saturday the kiddo and I headed out of town to do some school shopping. We had a wonderful time together and she got some really cute clothes. It was so odd to go shopping with her and be with her as the tried on the clothes. She would turn around and check herself out from all angles. She has never cared before. She just wanted to like them, not like the way she looked in them.

I love preparing for school. The smell of new pencils and paper. Waiting to wear the new clothes and use the new supplies. Especially this year, the kiddo is starting at a new school! The schools in our district are grade band, which means each school holds different grades. K-1 at one school, 2-3 at another, 4-5 at another, 6-8 at the middle school and 9-12 at the High School. I love it because she is always with her friends and I don't worry about her being around the influence of much older kids. That was the only thing I didn't like about the old structure, when all the grades where together, was that the 2nd graders could easily hear the 6th graders talking about mature subjects. I like the idea of my daughter being surrounded by other kids her age.

Today she got quite the surprise, that her and her best friend will be seeing the Jonas Brothers in concert next month! They freaked out and are so excited! We are going to finish out the night watching "Letter to God." I can't believe the summer is almost over!

surrounded by a bunch of animals!

2010-08-07T17:35:00.000-07:00

We recently took a trip to the zoo this week while the hubbs is on vacation. The fam and two friends headed out of town to enjoy some sun and animals. The weather at home has been terrible, not very much sun and very mild temperatures. As much as I can't stand the heat, I would like a little of it so we can go to the beach and not freeze our bums off!

We took a bunch of animal pictures as a little man I know wants to enter a photography contest and asked me to help him out. So I showed him how to take pictures and he played around.

puffins

a walrus - which the twins were entertained by. We would hold them up to the glass and they would just look at the water animals and watch them swim by.

I loved the penguins, not many of the kids were interested.

There were 2 baby tiger cubs at our zoo. They were so cute! Of course, they kept turning their backs on me as I tried to take their pictures. They are about 6 months old!

The kids liked the elephants, or more accurately, the elephant poop. Thought it was quite funny how big the poo is. Ah, the things that entertain kids.

None of us took to the heat very well. We all got hot and tired quickly, but had a wonderful time. We love the zoo!

ready for some Zzz's

2010-08-02T23:23:00.000-07:00

What an insanely crazy, busy, but wonderful weekend I have had!

Last week I was getting the kiddo prepared for her stage debut in a local kids theater group and working with my church for a kids crusade. That was busy enough, but one of the boys, Roo, ended up in the emergency room with quite a high temperature (104 degrees!) on Thursday night (actually early Friday morning), which ended being ok. Was a weird reaction to his vaccinations and then around 11:00 a.m. on Friday, one of my best friends, L, called me to tell me her water had broke and was ready to have her baby!

Talk about changing your plans quickly! I called the Hubbs right away and he headed home while I got dressed to go to L's house and take her to the hospital. What a day that turned out to be! Between the nurses saying she wasn't ready (she was), having to walk around our local mall, and then getting stuck in traffic because the bridge was up, we were all a little frazzled. Thank God that the doctor came up to the hospital when we went back and admitted her.

Her sister, husband, and I proceeded to stay with her while her contractions got stronger and stronger. A little under 14 hours from her initial phone call telling me it was time, her sweet baby boy was born! He has a full head of beautiful hair and is the longest newborn I have ever seen! I love him already!

I put on the kiddo's and L's sons stage makeup every evening and took them to the theater for their performances. They did so well! L's son was made for the stage, he is so extroverted and did so well! The kiddo was so adorable and sweet on that stage. She loves it - I think she has found her niche, she loves to sing and dance! I love that, because I love the stage as well and I love being back around it, even if it is backstage.

I need some serious rest now - after Roo's ER visit, baby C's arrival, all the performances, and goody bag making for the kids in the show I am exhausted! Maybe I can catch up on some sleep tonight!

beautiful day

2010-07-25T02:30:00.001-07:00

Today was supremely awesome! The kiddo has been participating in a local theaters' kid play and is loving it. Today she was in a mini-parade (the boys first!) and performed one of the songs. It was so awesome to see her singing and dancing her heart out! It was a big festival, so we stayed and played for a few hours. I got sunburned of course and every one kept stopping us asking if the boys were twins (duh!) and oohing and ahhing over them. It was kind fun with all the attention the brought :)

After the festival, the kiddo and I went to a local museum that she has been wanting to go to. She loved it way more than I had anticipated! They had a couple of trails on the hill behind it that we ended up going on. Quite steep, but discovered the biggest old growth tree in the town - never too old to learn something new!

After the museum we stopped at a local pizza place to grab dinner before heading to the stadium for another theater activity. This time she sang the national anthem with the group at a football game. The kiddo wanted to stay, but we quickly got bored, grabbed a big ol' elephant ear* and headed home. She jumped in a hot bubble bath while I finished the laundry and the hubbs played with the boys.

A very awesome day for my crazy family!

* if you don't know what an elephant ear is, it is a flat rolled out piece of dough deep fried, brushed with butter and the topped with a choice of cinnamon & sugar, strawberry jam, Bavarian cream or raspberry jam. We chose cinnamon & sugar - the original and best!

Money - part 2

2010-07-20T23:09:00.000-07:00

I guess my last post made the Hubbs sound bad, so I just wanted to clear up some things.

He isn't asking me to go back to work. I wrote that I know he wants me to, but would never ask me to do so. He also realizes that daycare would be astronomical nor does he want the boys in daycare.

He is concerned about our financial position at the moment, but knows this is just temporary. He wants us all to be able to have the money to do everything we want to do, but we both want what is best for our children, which is me staying home to care for them instead of having someone else raise them. He believes I should be at home just as much as I do.

Money, money, money - it's a rich mans world!

2010-07-15T22:32:00.000-07:00

Most of my summer days have been filled with smiles and laughter from my children. The kiddo has been keeping busy with rehearsals for an upcoming play she is in and Tae Kwon Do, which she is loving. The boys and I have been homebodies, since it is just easier with two small babies. It has been enjoyable, with some irksome bothers here and there. The main bother being family funds.

Becoming a one income family with two extra mouths to feed has proven to be a difficult experience. Especially for the Hubbs. He (like many men) worries about money quite a bit and when we are unable to put funds away for savings or have our shelves stocked as well as they used to be, he becomes very nervous. Unfortunately, that nervousness usually turns into frustration which seems to have become anger. The amount of arguments in this household have increased, but I am praying that they will dwindle down again.

The Hubbs would never tell me to go back to work out loud, but I know that is what he wants. It isn't that I am lazy or that I don't want to work, but we had both agreed that we would not put the boys in daycare. Having tried for the boys for over 4 years, I was not about to finally have them and then give someone else the joy of raising them. It was a nightmare every time I dropped of the kiddo at daycare. Completely normal for me to drive to work in tears. I don't ever want to have to do that again.

As much as some people would like to provide their children with vacations or extravagant toys and/or clothes. I would rather give my child(ren) something much more simple: me. I am discovering the free opportunities this summer to entertain my child including the summer reading program at my local library and the summer program my city puts on in a local park. I am finding quality clothing at garage sales and thrift stores. By joining some of the programs going on around town we got a free pass to the local skating rink and another free pass to a zoo up north.

Yes, I am not able to do everything I want or buy things on a whim like I used to, but I am getting something way more valuable: my children. Once the medical bills from my pregnancy and the birth of the boys are gone, things will get a lot better. Sometimes I get frustrated from not having "things" but seeing my boys smile or hearing their laugh make it so worth it.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Ephesians 4

2010-07-05T23:19:00.000-07:00

About a week ago I was trying to find some comforting passages and was directed to Ephesians 4. I loved what it said and thought it would make an awesome discussion in the kids program I help lead at church. The next day, a friend of mine posted a few verses on face book from Ephesians 4 which made me decide that God was trying to tell me to go with it. So I did and I thought I would share my sermonette w/ you.

(vs.1-3) In light of all this, here's what I want you to do. While I'm locked up here, a prisoner for the Master, I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel. I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don't want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences.

When Christians go out into the world and spread the world, are we living the life we should to represent Christ? Are we kind? Are we loving and not quick to anger? Are we doing everything in love as the bible tells us to? When there is a argument, we are supposed to forgive and ask for forgiveness. There is nothing wrong w/ having a difference in opinion, but we must be respectful of each other.

(vs. 17-19) And so I insist—and God backs me up on this—that there be no going along with the crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd. They've refused for so long to deal with God that they've lost touch not only with God but with reality itself. They can't think straight anymore. Feeling no pain, they let themselves go in sexual obsession, addicted to every sort of perversion.

What we did in our lives before we became Christians does not have a hold on us anymore! When the veil was torn the day Jesus was crucified we were made clean! Hallelujah! When you asked God to come and live in your heart, He forgave you for every single sin you committed before committing to Him. When we sin again (and you will, everyone does) we have to ask for forgiveness as soon as we realize we have sinned. We have to live clean lives and not do the "popular" thing. More often than not, I have to tell friends of mine "no" when they want to go do something. I refuse to drink or even go into bars. When friends of the kiddo bring up inappropriate things, I usually have to talk with her when she returns home about if what they spoke about it in line with God's plan. This includes (already at age 7!) sexual orientation, gender confusion, and purity.

20-24But that's no life for you. You learned Christ! My assumption is that you have paid careful attention to him, been well instructed in the truth precisely as we have it in Jesus. Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything—and I do mean everything—connected with that old way of life has to go. It's rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.

The bible has all the instructions for life that we need. If we are confused or don't know how to respond to a situation in our lives, the answer is in Gods' word! That being said, Christians can not just repeat what the bible says and expect people who don't read or even believe the bible to understand. We have to be able to interpret the bible and explain things to those who don't agree w/ what the bible says. Perfect example of why it is so important we study the bible every day.

25What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ's body we're all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.

26-27Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.

28Did you use to make ends meet by stealing? Well, no more! Get an honest job so that you can help others who can't work.

29Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.

30Don't grieve God. Don't break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don't take such a gift for granted.

31-32Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

So much information is in these last verses (25-32)! If you are a parent, you know how it can hurt you when your child fights with another child (especially their own sibling!) How do you think God feels when we, HIS children, fight? We have to do our best to get along. This does NOT mean we all have to be the best of friends, but we do have to love our brothers and sisters. Jesus loved every single person, even the ones who nailed Him to the cross and shoved the thorns into His brow.

What comes out of a Christians mouth needs to be uplifting and good. Why? Because we are followers of Christ and Christ only spoke in love and lifted people up. Have you ever heard of Jesus telling someone they smell funny or that they are stupid? Nope! He spoke to everyone like He would speak to His own mother - loving and respectful. Whether they deserved it or not!

Lastly, don't let Satan control you with anger! If you hold on to your anger, that anger can keep you from growing in your relationship with the Lord. How can we grow in Christ when we are angry when Christ Himself did not become angry with others? Every sin we commit and not ask for forgiveness, we are giving the devil a foothold in our lives. Don't let him! Take away every opportunity the devil might have to harm you in your life. All you have to do is ask God (and preferably the person you wronged) for forgiveness and Satan loses that power over you! How awesome is that?!

Praise the Lord for His overflowing mercy and love - we don't deserve any of it, yet He showers us with it every day!

baby parts

2010-07-01T23:02:00.001-07:00

My boys are so sweet! I am so grateful for them! Every piece of them is perfect!

Sweet hands that now hold my finger when within reach and my arm when I am carrying them.

Their ears that make me laugh, especially Roo's, because Lou sat on his head for so long that he flattened his ear!

One of my favorite spots - fat thighs and little toes! Every time I change diapers (which is often) I always play with their thighs and make them laugh.

The best parts though? That would definitely be their smiles!

How great is our God

2010-06-14T17:58:00.000-07:00

I watched this at my church and it is an amazing video - you must check this out! His name is Louis Giglio and the video is called How Great is our God, based on the song by Chris Tomlin. I put some of the videos below and Chris Tomlin's song as well. You WILL be moved!

entertaining kids

2010-06-12T21:41:00.000-07:00

Life is so crazy busy w/ twins! I am so happy the kiddo will be out of school soon so I don't have to worry about getting her to/from school, waking her up early, homework, and everything else that goes on during the school day. She auditioned last weekend for a part in a play put on by a local volunteer group. It's a big production they put on every summer and she got in! She is part of the chorus, but it's a great start. She is the minimum age to join, so if she likes it, it is something she can do every summer for a long time!

So far Roo & Lou are still pretty easy babies - Praise God! Roo is a little fussy and Lou is overly compassionate when hearing other babies (especially his brother) cry. He has to join in and cry with them and it kills me every time. His little lower lip just quivers and this little cry comes out. Lou is also my little goofball. He is a lot more vocal than Roo, cooing a lot trying to have a conversation with me. He has the sweetest little smile when I get him to smile, his eyes light up and it fills me with joy!

Roo is my little man with a BIG attitude! He is about a pound less than Lou, yet acts like he can do anything! He is a handsome little boy with perfect features. His eyes almost disappear when he smiles, just like his little sister and his Mama! He has a little Buddha belly that I just love to blow on. Lou is starting to get Michelin Man legs and I can't help but tickle those fat little thighs!

God has blessed me with such awesome children - I am so thankful for these blessings!

showers of love

2010-05-25T21:10:00.000-07:00

My church family threw a baby shower for the boys and I this past Sunday. We were blessed abundantly with beautiful handmade blankets, adorable clothing, and awesome diapers! A friend of mine took pictures for me and I thought I would share some.

We played a fun game where we had to match candy bar names with activities and people associated with babies. My babies slept pretty much the whole time.

I love celebrating my boys! I can not believe they are already 2 months old!

i heart my kids

2010-05-14T22:44:00.000-07:00

Life has been pretty darn grand lately. The twins are doing great and Lou purposely smiled at me today while I was playing with him. They have both smiled before, but today was the first time he looked at me while we were playing and smiled because he was having fun. They are both cooing and beginning to "talk" to me. I love it! The last two days they have been staying awake more during the day so my computer time has greatly diminished, but the fun has improved 100 times!

The kiddo has been keeping herself busy by playing with friends and not relying on me so much for her entertainment. This is not something I am used to, but I have the boys to entertain, so I can deal with it. She is definitely blossoming into her own self and has her own style. When I let her dress herself, which is most of the time now, she ends up looking like Punky Brewster.

I have been out and about quite a bit lately, both with all my children, just my daughter, or just the boys and have been complimented often. I am hearing "You are such a good Mommy" which is something I sometimes heard before, but now it seems to be coming out much more often. I love to hear it and personally I think I am a pretty darn good Mom. It is just weird hearing it from other Moms and/or Grandmas.

I think my boys have something to do with this. With the addition of my beautiful boys I have become more patient and calm. I don't strive to be Super Mom anymore as I know I can't achieve it. Parents can barely give 1 baby all the love and attention it desires and deserves, I do my best and know that my boys are going to be just fine.

Tonight my daughter told me that I need to get a marker that won't wash away and write 'I heart my kids' on my van. I asked her why and she replied "so that everyone will know how much I love my kids!"

I am a pretty happy Mama to know that my daughter is aware that I love her so very much.

humbled

2010-05-09T21:55:00.000-07:00

Matthew 7:1-3 (New King James Version)
1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?

John 8:6-8 (The Message)
3-6 The religion scholars and Pharisees led in a woman who had been caught in an act of adultery. They stood her in plain sight of everyone and said, "Teacher, this woman was caught red-handed in the act of adultery. Moses, in the Law, gives orders to stone such persons. What do you say?" They were trying to trap him into saying something incriminating so they could bring charges against him.

6-8 Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger in the dirt. They kept at him, badgering him. He straightened up and said, "The sinless one among you, go first: Throw the stone." Bending down again, he wrote some more in the dirt.

For the last couple of weeks I have been battling a fight within my heart. I have judged other people, other Christians. I had hate in my heart. I have battled it and God has dealt with me over this situation. Although my concerns over the situation are valid, my judgement was not.

We have to be so careful when situations come up that we don't agree with or that could be detrimental to our (or someone elses) Christian walk. We need to pray over it. We need to read the Bible and other Christian materials that deal with what we are going through. I pray that as I continue to grow in my faith that I follow my own advice here and seek God's guidance in these situations before I start deciding who is sinning and who is not.

I am grateful for the enlightenment from this situation as I feel closer to God and I know I have grown from this experience. My friends and family have lifted me up in this situation and I am thankful for it. I will continue to hold those I love up in their battles just as I would want them to for me and my family. God is so awesome and He is so Great. Praise the Lord!

sorry its been awhile

2010-05-04T10:56:00.000-07:00

My little family of five has been busy! The boys are sleeping through the night mostly, waking up 2 times to be fed and usually falling right back asleep. The hubbs has returned to work and it hasn't been too insane. If I get too overwhelmed I strap the boys into their car seats and go somewhere. By the time we return they are passed out and stay asleep in their seats for at least an hour.

Don't be hatin' - I need my sanity time.

God has blessed us with a van! I can now transport my family in a roomy vehicle and feel safe. I even have room to cart around some of the kiddo's friends. I am so thankful, it makes life much easier!

I have had some drama going on lately and it has really made me question the purpose of going to church. I am NOT questioning my relationship w/ God or the purpose of being a Christian or reading the bible. I am pretty sure when God looks at churches these days He is saddened by a lot of them w/ all the sin and motions people are going through to either make a show. I am definitely not perfect, I sin every single day, multiple times a day!

I'm sure I will touch on this subject again, like I said, I am questioning the purpose of church, but I have not yet made of my mind about it either. I just want to know what God wants me to do and where He wants me to do it!

stopping by to say hello

2010-04-24T09:14:00.000-07:00

I took the time last Thursday to gussy myself up for a Mothers group meeting that I attend once a month and had a few extra minutes so I decided to take some pictures and they turned out GREAT! Check them out!

a month already?!

2010-04-20T08:58:00.000-07:00

My boys are almost a month old! Bad news - the Hubbs will be going back to work next week, eeek! Am I going to be able to handle these crazy babes all by myself? Sleeping has been haphazard. Roo can soothe himself and go to sleep without me doing much to comfort him (swaddling is THE best). Lou on the other hand wants me to hold him or rub his cheek (which I love to do anyhoo). Last night I ended up keeping Lou in my arms and Roo up close in the co-sleeper. I am definitely an attachment parenting type Mom as I have yet to be able to let my babies cry it out. Not saying Moms who do are bad, it's just not for me. I feel better and my boys feel better.

Roo concerns me a little with his breathing. I may take him in to the doctor sooner than his next appointment. He is a very loud breather (wheezing sometimes as well) and sometimes it seems like he is trying to catch his breath. I am a worrywart with little ones so I am having a hard time with this. They are both doing better now that we switched to a more gentle formula as I have all but dried up in the breastfeeding department. As much as I hate it, the constant attach, bottle feed, then pump for 15-20 minutes mode with twins proved to be quite daunting. By the time I am done with the cycle for Roo, it begins with Lou. If I didn't have the kiddo I might have been able to do it, but she needs some Mama love as well.

Speaking of my little princess, she was in a play this last weekend. She played a color changing chameleon in a production of Robinson Crusoe. It was adorable and she did so well. She is definitely loving the stage life between ballet and church productions she has proven to be a drama queen! There is a summer program here in town and she may try out for a part. It's something for her to do during the summer months and not having to constantly help me out with the boys. I don't want her to lose her "self" while the boys are little and just be a helper. We shall see what happens.

why can't my opinion count?

2010-04-16T10:08:00.000-07:00

I love Facebook. I think it is a great way to catch up with old friends and stay in touch - as someone who does not like to talk on the phone, I prefer sending emails or facebook updates.

One thing I have discovered in my experiences in Facebook is that I have many, MANY friends with different views and opinions on things. I read what my friends have to say, if I don't agree, I usually leave my opinion to myself and go on to another friends' post.

Why?

I have discovered that because I have more conservative ideas and morals, that people think it is ok to attack me more often. If someone doesn't agree with me, I don't mind. That is the great thing about the country in which we live - we can have different values and ideally, we can respect the other persons' views. I never, ever talk down to people or call them dumb or stupid if their ideas are different than mine. Why, oh why do some people think it is ok to speak terribly to me?

I am conservative. I am a Republican. I am a (so-called) right wing Christian. I follow the Bible when it comes to what I believe. I think pot should stay illegal, assisted suicide should be outlawed, gays should not be allowed to marry, and we should be able to use our constitutional right to bear arms.

I have friends who are gay/bisexual and I truly enjoy their company and the differences they bring into my life. I do believe that if they don't change their ways they will go to hell. I don't harp on them about their choices nor would I ever tell them I fear for their souls without them straight out asking.

I will raise my children with my values and I am prepared to discuss issues with them as they arise when speaking with their friends about life. I would never want my children to not be friends with someone because they don't agree with their lifestyle. As Christians, we are supposed to love everyone. That is the greatest command Jesus gave us. He loved (and still loves) every single person created (including the millions of babies who never got to have their first breath).

Just because I don't agree with what seems to me as the popular beliefs of those around me, does not mean I shouldn't be able to voice my opinion when I give someone the respect of listening to theirs.

life is sometimes not getting your beauty sleep

2010-04-13T14:02:00.000-07:00

Life with newborns is crazy! We are preparing to start a new sleeping schedule with the boys tonight and I am anticipating that we will all we be getting some much needed sleep - yipee!!

We usually split up the boys when we have errands to run. Either I will take one boy with me or if we both go, we will each handle one. The car seats make it the most work, I can't wait till they are out of them! I just need to find the perfect sling and I think I will be able to get more done.

Roo and Lou are getting more personality now. Lou is much more calm and laid back. Roo is a tad more intense and likes to make sure he has attention when he wants it and not a minute later! Roo is about a pound smaller than Lou and both of their faces are rounding out. Roo looks just like the kiddo when she was a baby and Lou looks like an old man. I affectionately refer to him as Benjamin Button :-)

The hubbs will have to go back to work soon and I am not sure I like the idea of taking care of these babes all by my lonesome. It will prove to be interesting. Let's just pray I don't lose my sanity (what little is left!).

Here is Roo

Here is old man Lou

the part I don't like

2010-04-10T23:21:00.000-07:00

I am sleepy and Roo is wide awake. He is wanting to eat, but every time he eats today it comes back up. I'm not producing enough breast milk to feed him. I don't want to fill his stomach before I go to sleep and have him spit up while I am asleep and (I don't even like to say it) choke on it. I think we may need to give him sensitive formula or maybe even soy based, but I don't like to make these decisions without the pediatrician, who is on vacation right now. Argh!

I got a total of 4 hours of sleep last night. It was an unusually rough night, usually the hubbs and I tag team the boys and still manage to get 6 hours of sleep, which is enough for us to get through the day as long as we have some coffee. I am hoping we will be able to go to sleep soon.

Lord, please bring my milk supply in so I can feed my baby boys.

Our new normal

2010-04-08T19:52:00.000-07:00

I have discovered that newborn twins are about as difficult to get used to as having your first child. They sleep, eat, and poop. Sleepless nights happen, but that's what naps are for, right? I am nervous about the Hubbs going back to work, him being at home has been amazingly wonderful. I think it has even strengthened our relationship.

The boys are doing awesome. The kiddo has become the worlds' best big sister. She holds them, sings to them, feeds them and dotes on them like crazy. We love watching her do it, as we have been waiting to have the opportunity for so long.

Roo is the runt of the family. He is taking his sweet time growing, which I am ok with. He is healthy and by staying little, I get to enjoy a tiny baby that much longer. He still swims in his newborn clothes while Lou is graduating into 0-3 months clothes.

Lou is my future football player. You can definitely tell the difference when you pick him after after holding Roo. He looks like an old man so much that I am beginning to refer to him as Benjamin Button - he cracks me up!

I don't care what people say, they smile at us sometimes. They both love their faces/heads rubbed. So much that Roo will roll his eyes in the back of his head and smile :o)

Breastfeeding is a challenge once again with my boys. I am actually getting the milk this time (praise God!), but I had to calm down and supplement with formula as they weren't growing as fast as they were supposed to at first. Now I am changing back to trying to breastfeed more and the supply just isn't where I need it to be. My regular doctor is giving me a breast pump, I just need to wait for it to arrive. I was scared it would take too long and called the local Health Department about renting a pump, only to find out that I can only rent a pump if I am on state assistance. That irritates me to no end! Why is it that a responsible, taxpaying citizen who doesn't ever use state assistance not qualify to rent a pump?!

It doesn't make sense to me. I want to pay the state whatever they asked just to use a pump, but I am denied - not because they don't have one for me, but because I'm not on WIC. It's my tax dollars that bought those pumps! I should be able to pay money to rent one for a couple of weeks!

(stepping off my soapbox)

So, the Hubbs watched me cry as I was trying to figure out what we were going to do while waiting on this pump we are getting. He is just as frustrated as I am and walked out the door and bought a pump for me to use until the nice one arrives. We both watched intently as the milk was expressed knowing that we are doing such a wonderful thing for our babies. This is going to work, I have absolutely no doubt about it.

Well, this post has been all over the place, but I have one babe in my arms and one in my lap and we are all happy, but it is time to change some butts and fill some little tummies.

Blessed doesn't even begin to cover what God has done for us!

2010-04-02T12:54:00.000-07:00

Roo & Lou made their appearance into the world on March 23rd!! Roo was born at 5:39PM with an epidural and was the easiest part of my day! Lou finally came via C-Section at 6:05PM. Roo was 6lbs10oz and Lou was 7lbs4oz. Both were 19 inches long and so beautiful! We had a couple of pretty good scares when it came to me and my health, but I am doing ok and the road to recovery is still quite long. My baby boys make is totally worth it though.

They are feeding great, just not enough to make them grow quickly enough for their doctor. We are supplementing the breast milk with formula and it seems to be working great. They sleep very well during the night, only waking up once or twice to be changed and eat. Last night was a different story, but I am anticipating a good night tonight.

Speaking of sleeping and feeding, I am off to feed my boys and take a nap with them!

Psalm 118
1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.

2 Let Israel say:
"His love endures forever."

3 Let the house of Aaron say:
"His love endures forever."

4 Let those who fear the LORD say:
"His love endures forever."

5 In my anguish I cried to the LORD,
and he answered by setting me free.

6 The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?

7 The LORD is with me; he is my helper.
I will look in triumph on my enemies.

8 It is better to take refuge in the LORD
than to trust in man.

9 It is better to take refuge in the LORD
than to trust in princes.

10 All the nations surrounded me,
but in the name of the LORD I cut them off.

11 They surrounded me on every side,
but in the name of the LORD I cut them off.

12 They swarmed around me like bees,
but they died out as quickly as burning thorns;
in the name of the LORD I cut them off.

13 I was pushed back and about to fall,
but the LORD helped me.

14 The LORD is my strength and my song;
he has become my salvation.

15 Shouts of joy and victory
resound in the tents of the righteous:
"The LORD's right hand has done mighty things!

16 The LORD's right hand is lifted high;
the LORD's right hand has done mighty things!"

17 I will not die but live,
and will proclaim what the LORD has done.

18 The LORD has chastened me severely,
but he has not given me over to death.

19 Open for me the gates of righteousness;
I will enter and give thanks to the LORD.

20 This is the gate of the LORD
through which the righteous may enter.

21 I will give you thanks, for you answered me;
you have become my salvation.

22 The stone the builders rejected
has become the capstone;

23 the LORD has done this,
and it is marvelous in our eyes.

24 This is the day the LORD has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.

25 O LORD, save us;
O LORD, grant us success.

26 Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD.
From the house of the LORD we bless you. [a]

27 The LORD is God,
and he has made his light shine upon us.
With boughs in hand, join in the festal procession
up [b] to the horns of the altar.

28 You are my God, and I will give you thanks;
you are my God, and I will exalt you.

29 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.

What am I going to do today? I'm going to give birth!

2010-03-23T02:08:00.000-07:00

Today is the day!

Dr. OB Hottie (as I like to refer so lovingly to him) is back from his medical board conference and I don't know if I have ever been so happy to see him. One of my best appointments ever. I was dilated 3-4cm at the appointment and was having contractions, but they were quite far apart (10-14 minutes). He checked everything and said he was sending me to the hospital for another non-stress test and would schedule the O.R. for delivery.

I want to deliver these boys naturally (with drugs, but through the proper "tunnel") and it looks as though it might be able to happen that way, they still have to prepare for a possible c-section with Roo aka Baby B, since he has yet to actually get into one position and stay there. Lou aka Baby A, has been head down and pretty much in the birth canal since January. So I will be in a labor & delivery room until it is time to start pushing, at which point I will be wheeled to the O.R. to deliver.

After the appointment, the hubbs and I got home to the kiddo and my bf Ann and we got to talk for awhile, then off to a delicious lunch at a local Italian restaurant with just us girls. The kiddo has glued herself to Ann today, which was sweet to see with life being so hectic lately she hasn't been able to really spend time with her. When I came home I had a great nap as the hubbs prepared the house a little more for the arrival of the boys. Then we ended the evening cuddled up on the bed to watch some tv before going to sleep for the last time being just the 3 of us.

I feel asleep pretty early and I knew once I woke up after midnight, my sleep would be done and I would be fully excited. I was right, got up to go to the bathroom and started thinking about what is about to happen and now I am wide awake. I started thinking about the whole process these past years have brought. I have been seeing this God sent OB since April 2008 and almost 2 years after meeting this man, I am finally, PRAISE GOD, about to give birth to TWO baby boys. In no way do I credit my OB more than God in these two miracles, but it is with God's hand and His will, that this Doctor has been able to treat me and help me through this pregnancy. His nurse and himself have become friends to me and it will be tough not to see them on a monthly basis anymore.

2 years of medically trying to have babies. 2 years before that trying to get pregnant on our own. 4 years. FOUR years and now here I am, at 2:30 in the morning, about to go to the hospital to deliver my two healthy and so strongly prayed for boys. Words can not describe the feeling I am feeling right now. The kiddo has been such a blessing since the second I discovered she existed. Everything I have ever wanted in a daughter, I have with her. Now I get to watch her make one of the biggest changes in her life she will ever experience: becoming a big sister.

Thank you God! Praise you God! Your goodness and mercy is overflowing in my life as I enter this next stage of my life. Thank you for giving me the desire of my heart. I am a Mommy of 3 babies and I am so excited to begin this new journey!

not yet...

2010-03-12T21:11:00.001-08:00

This Sunday will mark my 36th week of this pregnancy and the week my OB is out of state for a medical board conference. After trying all this week to go into labor, I am now, once again, trying to NOT go into labor.

Tonight the kiddo and I are having a movie/snuggle date, which she has moved all her attention to a cartoon and left me to occupy my mind with the computer. She has been wanting Mama more and more lately, so I am trying to give her more and more attention and she is loving it.

The nursery is done and ready for Roo and Lou. If they do wait and come out after my OB returns, I will need to pick out new coming home outfits as the outfits I have ready for them are for babies up to 7lbs.

We are so blessed that these babies have made it this far. I was fully prepared for premies, but now they are a good size and as far as everyone can tell, totally healthy. Thank you God!!

35 weeks

2010-03-06T22:40:00.000-08:00

Ok boys, you can come any time now!

Praise God! I made it 35 weeks! Back in January while I was sitting in the hospital for 4 days I didn't think I would make it this far. I am so happy and so relaxed now that I know my boys will be delivered at the hospital I want and hopefully with my OB.

The only obstacle left is when (if) I hit 36 weeks. My OB will be out of state and I do not want a different doctor to deliver my babies. While talking to my wonderful OB at my last appointment I announced that I will (hopefully) be having my babies on Sunday (tomorrow). He laughed and said good luck, and then said he wants to deliver my babies as badly as I want him to. I thought that was really nice of him, whether he meant it or not, it comforted me.

I was dilated the same at this appointment as well. 1 centimeter. Tomorrow the whole family is working on preparing the house for the babies i.e., setting up and cleaning the co-sleeper, putting the changing table together, and the hubbs will put the last coat of paint on the trim in the boys room.

It's almost time - they will be here so soon!!!

these last 2 weeks

2010-02-28T20:59:00.001-08:00

have been interesting, but not too exciting for the fam and I. Boys are staying put so far. 1 more week until they can be delivered without having to head up to the big city and have a OB I don't know deliver them. I must say, my OB is the absolute best and I can't say it enough. He gave me his cell # and said not to call the on call cell, but straight to him so he can check me out and, when ready, he can deliver. It is so comforting to me, even with the possibility of him not being here when I do deliver (he has to be out of state when I am 36 weeks for a week).

On Wednesday I ended up at the hospital. I had gone to the big city to have my monthly ultrasound and specifically asked them to check me, but they didn't. Did find out Lou is head down, which is a good sign for a vaginal delivery - YAY! Anyway, that night the pains were intense and I was positive, without a doubt sure I was in labor. Called the on-call (this was before OB gave me his cell) and he said head up to the hospital. Of course, as soon as we got the the hospital the pains went away. The nurses monitored me for a couple of hours and sent me home.

Praise God - the Hubbs brought down our bed so I don't have to sleep on the couch anymore. It was been so wonderful and so much more comfortable! It's a little weird to be in my pj's AND in my bed when people come over to say hello, but I figure this is the one time in my life I can get away with it without someone thinking I am lazy.

I really want my boys to come next Sunday, March 7th. I think having my boys born on a Sunday would be awesome and I should be over my current illnesses (I have both a bladder infection AND a sinus infection). I am ready to see my babes. I want to kiss them SO bad I can taste it. I want to see their toes. I used to love just watching the kiddo sleep in my arms and I want that so bad. The anticipation is killing me!

Time for me to lay back down. Haven't felt very well today. Hopefully the next time I blog, it will be with a picture of 2 beautiful boys!

My Valentine

2010-02-13T23:08:00.001-08:00

The Hubbs and me. I kinda, sorta like him.

alot.

quite big

2010-02-12T00:26:00.000-08:00

I thought I would share my large belly with you. This is me about 2 weeks ago, I am larger now, just haven't taken a picture lately.

Well, at least a picture I would actually post for the whole world to see.

My rear end is numb

2010-02-10T16:42:00.000-08:00

I am just getting ready to enter my 32nd week of being pregnant with Roo and Lou. We are all doing well. Bedrest is still quite boring, but has proven to be very restful (duh!). I am probably sleeping 12 hours a day, but it is nice to try and catch up from the terrible sleep I had when I was stuck in the recliner with the cracked rib pain.

Today I'm not feeling very well. I saw my most awesome OB yesterday and we discovered the there has been too much protein in my system so I had to have yet another glucose test today. This one was a 3 hour test, which meant I headed in at 8:30AM and had my blood taken and drank the worlds most nasty orange drink ever created. Each hour after that for 3 hours I had to go back and have more blood taken. 4 blood draws for a girl who gets nauseated just seeing the vials and needles did not make for a fun day. I was really ill in the first hour, it was terrible, then it gradually got better. By the last blood draw I could finally sit up and not feel like I was going to pass out.

I'm not sure I will like the outcome of these tests. I has a feeling I will have gestational diabetes. There is a good chance that once Roo and Lou come out that it will go away, but since diabetes runs in my family I could have it permanently now. We will just have to wait and see. I am praying there is no diabetes, but preparing for the possibility.

The boys have been bigger than normal twins, but I am hoping they are just big babies. Gestational diabetes can cause health problems for the twins including breathing problems and other issues later in their lives and I would prefer that my babies are as healthy as possible.

Will hopefully hear more very soon!

30 weeks

2010-02-03T13:52:00.000-08:00

In the midst of my bedrest I have discovered a few things.

1. My church family and friends care for my family and I more than I had previously thought. The outpouring of love for our situation is humbling. Meals are brought to us almost every other evening, cards are sent, the kiddo is taken to and from school, and shopping trips are taken care of. Not having to relay on the Hubbs is such a weight taken off my shoulders. He was busy enough with school, work, and finishing the nursery. With all the help we have been receiving, the kiddo and I can actually spend time with him.

2. A couch should never be considered a bed. I can't go upstairs to sleep in my bed. With all my bathroom activity at night, the stairs prove to be too strenuous for my resting body. I miss sleeping next to my husband. I will never take that for granted again.

3. Daytime television is not interesting. The news repeats itself every 10 minutes, I have enough drama in my life, I don't need soap operas. Talk show personalities think they are either A) saints B) absolutely hilarious or C) both. The Food Network is not a good channel to watch while pregnant and either are all the birthing/baby shows.

4. Evening television isn't all that great either. Numbers (It all started when I started working in the Math Department), The Jay Leno Show (I always thought he was far funnier than Conan!), and Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (Funniest comedian on TV!) are the only shows I watch on a regular basis. Anything else is filler.

5. Reading is a great way to pass the time, but I have discovered that I can only read for maybe 45 minutes before I doze off. It can be any book, no matter how interesting, I get sleepy and end up falling asleep.

6. An outing to church or a Doctor appointment wears me out so much now that I come home and take a very long nap. It is so weird to me. Just 2 weeks ago I was out running around doing errands and normal life activities. Now I feel exhausted going out once a week! This will prove interesting when the boys do arrive!

Lastly, I have discovered the indescribable joy of fully focusing on growing babies in my belly. I'm not busy going place to place running errands or attending meetings. I feel and notice every movement Roo and Lou make. I sit here and watch them move around my belly. I sing to them. I talk to them. I feel like we are bonding even before they are born.

I am reminded with every kick they make that God has done a miracle in me. Four years of praying, begging God for another baby. Finally getting to the point that I began to ask Him, "Lord, if it isn't your will for us to have another baby, please take the desire from my heart." He never did, instead He blessed me with patience, growth in His spirit, and the ability to praise Him when I felt lost. Then He decided to give me a double blessing with Roo and Lou.

I am so thankful. Even with bedrest and hospital bills, I could never describe how thankful I am for my boys.

Bedrest

2010-01-27T20:25:00.000-08:00

Bedrest isn't as terrible as I thought it would be.... yet! I am on day 4 and although I get bored a lot and my rear end is numb, my friends/husband/child/church family are taking great care of me! The Hubbs hasn't had to cook dinner yet this week and some of my friends are coming to visit me, which makes this whole ordeal much easier.

Once a day, I have to lay on my left side and count how many times Roo and Lou move and/or kick. The numbers have been quite high, which is great. Always in the 40's or 50's. I think when I lay on my side they believe party time has begun and get their groove on. It makes me laugh, I am using this time I have with my boys as my opportunity to enjoy the end of this pregnancy. I highly doubt we will have more children (even though I would love to!) and I don't want to take this time of my life for granted. I only am able to grow human being(s) inside my body for a total of 19-20 months out of my life, I want to cherish this time. Maybe this is why I'm on bedrest, God wanted me to enjoy the last of this pregnancy and I am going to.

I love their kicks and different movements. Even today while I was counting kicks and it felt like Lou would push on my bladder like he was playing with me saying "Is that your bladder Mom?" "Does this make you have to pee?" "Mom, if I push can you feel it?" I wonder if they are already getting personalities in utero. If so, these boys are going to be hilariously fun to be around. :o)

trying to make an early appearance

2010-01-22T11:30:00.000-08:00

What a ride these last few days have been!

On Wednesday, I had a routine ultrasound with the boys and during the U/S the doctor asked me if I felt something. I wasn't and it turns out that I was having a contraction. After some initial freak out and discussion, the doctor sent me up to the hospital. Not my local hospital, but the big city hospital 90 minutes away.

I have been here ever since with contractions coming every once in awhile, contractions that I still can not feel at all. The only indication that we have of me having a contraction is the sudden urge to urinate, which is weird since I'm 29 weeks pregnant, of course I have sudden urges to pee! Roo and Lou are being monitored at least once a shift and the Hubbs will be staying the night tonight, which I am happy about. He has been driving up here every day and then going back home to take care of the kiddo, who I am missing so much. I have never been away from her for so long and my arms are aching for her.

Thankfully I have an awesome support system at home of people who are taking care of her and loving her. She is staying with one of my BF's tonight whose daughter is her BF, so she will have fun. The town I am in has a Krispy Kreme doughnut shop and I am dying to go there. Told the kiddo that I will be stopping on my way home and will bring her something yummy, so we are both looking forward to my leaving the hospital - not just that we will be together again, but that we will get yummy doughnuts!

It sounds like we will be heading home tomorrow and hopefully that will happen. I really want to see my OB. He is the absolute best and I really want his input on this.

In all of this, I am praising God for keeping me and the boys safe. I know I have a large group of people praying for me and I am so thankful for that. I know God has the perfect plan and I am trusting Him completely in this situation. The doctors can say and do whatever they want, but He is the one in charge and really, there is nothing as comforting as that.

A perfect girl for me

2010-01-14T19:36:00.000-08:00

On the eve of my daughters birthday I am remembering everything about the day of her birth and reminiscing all the wonderful memories we already have together and also getting a little teary eyed that she is already 7 years old! It is hard for me to remember a time without her in my life.

She is the perfect girl for me. She is the princess I always wanted who loves to sing and dance. She loves Barbie and Disney Princesses. She loves to cook and bake with me and put on lip gloss. She is most happy wearing a skirt or dress and even more happy when heels are a part of the outfit. A perfect evening includes a bubble bath and snuggling with Mom.

She is a ham in front of the camera and enjoys her time on stage, yet gets bashful when all eyes are on her. I get to enjoy performances of songs and/or dances she creates all by herself and listen to jokes she learned from her Dad or Grandpa.

She also has a tomboy side to her. She loves to play in the dirt and go fishing. Her favorite times with Daddy are wrestling and rough housing with him. She climbs all over our dog and helps Daddy out with projects around the house.

She is so smart! She is so curious about things and wants to be a scientist. She received a microscope for Christmas and loves to use it. She plays basketball and swims, yet can't stand soccer. On the rare occasion Daddy takes her on a run she will run her little heart out, but love every minute of it.

My kiddo has a heart of gold and loves on people all the time. She considers our family friends to be more like family than just friends. You know my daughter loves you if you get hugs from her every time you see her. She has compassion for others like no one I have ever seen. She hurts when others hurt and will do what she can to make you feel better, even if all it is, is a kiss on the cheek and an "I love you."

More than anything, she loves God. She is so thankful for what Jesus did for her and loves to go to church. Her bibles are some of her most important possessions and her favorite story in the bible is when Jesus takes the demons out of a man and sends them to the pigs, who then run into the water and drown. She adores our pastor and his wife and also the Childrens' director and Sunday School teacher. TobyMac is her favorite musician, but she also likes to rock out with Mom.

She is the perfect daughter for me. God blessed me with a loving, sweet girl and I am so thankful to Him. She was made for me and I for her. Happy Birthday Kiddo - I love you!!!

Winter showers...

2010-01-09T21:39:00.000-08:00

... brings lots of clothes for babies in the Spring!

Today two of my best friends threw a baby shower for me and it was wonderful. I received many adorable, tiny clothes, handmade blankets, and 2 pairs of extremely sweet handmade booties.

Today was such a blessed event. I was able to spend some time with a great friend who lives about an hour away last night and this morning (our annual sleepover ritual, that I LOVE!) She began a business with a well known company and we had facials last night and a makeup session this morning.

I don't think I could have had a better weekend! Tomorrow is church, naps, and fun times with the family. 10 more weeks until my boys are here!

What a year this has been!

2010-01-01T15:26:00.000-08:00

This has been a fabulous year - Praise God!

This time of year brings about a question asked by many people, what was the highlight of your year? It's pretty obvious the highlight of my year - discovering that I was finally pregnant, then, even better - twins! I know I have said it numerous times, but it had been almost 4 years of trying to have another baby. We were thisclose to giving up, thinking God had a different plan for us. I was only going to take clomid for 6 months, if I didn't get pregnant, we would just accept things the way they were and that was that. In my fifth month of taking clomid, we discovered I was finally pregnant!

Words can't even describe how excited and happy I am. My shower is next weekend and I am looking forward to celebrating these babies! I have had a tough pregnancy so far, but I would rather be completely miserable while pregnant than not pregnant at all. My boys are already such blessings and miracles.

This year has brought quite a few other highlights and wonderful things. The kiddo has been amazing, we have done some fun things and enjoyed good times with friends and family. I am excited for 2010, especially March - when we get to meet our boys!

a Merry little Christmas

2009-12-28T22:33:00.000-08:00

This year, Christmas at my home was small, yet had some very sweet moments.

To my surprise, my BF gave birth (a few weeks early) to a beautiful baby girl on Christmas Eve. She is tiny, but doing so well - Praise the Lord! I can't wait to see and hold her. We have been praying for this baby almost as long as my own babies. I am so incredibly happy for her and her family!

Before I knew little E had come into the world, we had dinner and gifts at my Dad's. My stepmom made exactly what I was craving - her awesome baked beans and ham. I was so happy! The kiddo got exactly what she wanted - a pillow pet. She was quite excited when she saw it! My Stepmom also got Roo & Lou a gift, which really touched the hubbs.

We came home and got the kiddo ready for bed. Putting out cookies and carrots for Santa and his reindeer. Reading 'Twas The Night Before Christmas, though forgetting to let her open her Christmas pj's - whoops! I have been sleeping downstairs because my back has still been bothering me. I couldn't fall asleep and around 2:30 I just started to finally fall asleep when I heard the pitter patter of little feet. The Kiddo had come downstairs and was checking to see if Santa had come. First she looked in the mug to see if he drank his milk and ate his cookies. Then she looked at the tree and her stocking. I startled her when I asked what she was doing.

"Santa's been here Mama!"

Yes, he has come, but it is the middle of the night. Go back to bed. She wasn't sleepy and kept talking to me. I told her to lay down on the couch and to just keep it down, once the sun comes up we will open presents. Well, she kept talking and talking. I finally started to fall asleep again around 4AM when, once again, I heard little footsteps and, this time, big footsteps as well.

She had gone upstairs, woke up her Daddy and told him I told her that he needed to wake up. That shyster!!! I was too amused to be mad, besides, it was Christmas. So we opened presents at 4:30 in the morning and she played and played till 5PM (right before dinner). The Hubbs and I each took naps to make it through the day.

We headed across the street to our neighbors for a great dinner and enjoyed our evening with them. The kiddo slept most of the time there, but finally woke up for a little dinner and then asked if we could go home because she was sleepy. We headed home and guess what - she woke up!

We ended up watching Pirates of the Caribbean all cuddled and then went to sleep. I ended up getting the best sleep I had in weeks and was very grateful for that. It was a very quiet Christmas and much different than any we have had in the past. I am looking forward to next year when the boys will be here to enjoy it with us, but it was a very loving day as the last Christmas as a family of 3.

Praise God - He knows exactly what is good for us and blesses us abundantly, even when we don't deserve it.

early morning hospital visit

2009-12-19T20:54:00.001-08:00

Yesterday morning was quite an adventure. I am still trying to get over a sinus infection which I blame for all of this. I have been coughing so hard that I either pulled a muscle or broke/cracked a rib. We don't know for sure, but it was enough to freak myself, the Hubbs, and my OB out. After a few doses of morphine and quite a few different labs we were sent home.

All I can do is rest. Which is not very fun at Christmas time, when I want to bake with the kiddo and attend Christmas parties. Instead I am at home in my recliner with a heat pad, water, and over sized ace bandage around my belly to try to hold the muscle in.

I am waiting on God to heal me, because I know that no matter what I try to do, I won't heal until God is ready to heal me. Maybe this is a sign that I need to slow down (though I thought I had slowed down pretty dramatically already) or that I need to focus on something. I don't know, all I know is that I want to be able to play with the kiddo and cuddle with the Hubbs.

Roo and Lou are fine. Every time we listen to their hearts or look at them through an ultrasound they are kicking and playing around. Especially Lou. Lou loves to move away from the doppler all the time. He is also the one who beats up his poor brother already. I can't wait till my little boys are full term and I can hold them in my arms.

Only a little more than 3 months to go!

updated

2009-12-17T17:38:00.001-08:00

I don't even know where to start, so much has been happening. I have been sick since my last post. One illness ends and another one began. I am currently coming down from a nasty sinus infection and had been having pains in my left side. They have been intense pains, so painful that even breathing hurts. I spoke with my OB today and he said I may need an X-Ray to see if my ribs are cracked/broken or if this pain is from an underlying cause, possibly pneumonia. It has not been a fun few months around our house, but I only have 4 months to go!

We have our tree up and the house is decorated. The kiddo and I have made chex mix and sugar cookies, but have so much more to do! I have never been this sick during Christmas - it really sucks!!!

Hopefully I will be able to get on sometime soon and upload pictures to show you everything we have been up to! Merry Christmas!!

Let's hear it for the BOYS!

2009-11-21T11:06:00.000-08:00

On Monday we found out that God has blessed us with exactly what we wanted - twin boys!!! My sons are very active - they are moving all the time! Lou moves around a little more than Roo and it was so funny to watch the lab tech chase after them with the ultrasound doppler trying to measure them. The boys were not shy at all with showing us their boy parts.

While we were measuring Roo, Lou decided to head butt him. It was wonderful to be able to watch them for so long. The feelings I have been having I have discovered has been the twins being boys. I love to feel them because I didn't feel the kiddo very often during my first pregnancy.

I am so happy to be seeing blue everywhere!!!!!!!

Restored

2009-11-04T17:25:00.000-08:00

I was reading my bible the other evening and I stumbled across an awesome verse. I love reading different translations because new things can pop out at me that didn't before. This verse did that exact thing - Jeremiah 15:19 (New Living Translation)

19 This is how the Lord responds:

“If you return to me, I will restore you
so you can continue to serve me.
If you speak good words rather than worthless ones,
you will be my spokesman.
You must influence them;
do not let them influence you!

WOW! The idea of being a spokesman for God is amazing! This verse reminds me about how we as Christians are supposed to represent Christ. WE, me - YOU need to influence others and their relationships with the Lord. Non believers can not influence us. Do you know why? Because if we let others influence us we may lose our place in Heaven!! I am definitely not taking that chance!

God restores us. We go on our merry way thinking we can handle it all and how do we end up? We end up Broken. Tired. Defeated.

Think of the prodigal son. He asked his father for his share of the inheritance, took off and partied like a wild man until he found himself wanting to eat out of a pigs' trough. He heads back to his fathers' farm, hoping his father will allow him to work on the farm. Yet when he is walking home, his father sees him and runs to his son. His father embraces him, gives him a robe and a ring and has a big party for his sons' return.

His father restored him to his old place in the family. God does that for us too!! We think we can handle our lives just fine until something happens and we end up on our knees begging God to take us back. Crying and longing for His comfort again and what happens?

He restores us. He accepts us and loves us and holds us close. That is how awesome our God is. I am so thankful for our God who loves us even when we don't deserve it. Glory to our Lord!

Complaint Department

2009-10-28T09:45:00.000-07:00

I have been trying my best not to complain during this pregnancy. We have waited so long for these babies and I don't want to seem ungrateful to God by complaining about aches and pains. Really, little things that I only have to put up with for 9 months and won't even remember once Roo and Lou are here.

I refuse to complain to others, besides the Hubbs. I am so thankful for the aches/pains/sickness because there are two lives inside of me. Two lives that I have been praying for and trying for, for over 3 years.

The only place I think I can unwind is here. Where not too many people who actually know me, read what I have to say.

Today is day 3 of this unknown sickness I have right now and I am miserable. My Dr's nurse thinks it is a bad reaction to my swine flu shot. I have every symptom EXCEPT a temperature, which is the main concern. My nose is stuffy on one side, runny on the other. I am coughing like a seal. My body aches. My head feels like it is full of boogers. My carpal tunnel (which only shows up during pregnancy) is much worse with Roo and Lou than when I was preggo with the Kiddo. Sitting up hurts my eyes, but laying down hurts my sides. I am using all my sick time from work for being sick during my pregnancy. Ahhh!!!

I felt one of my babies this last weekend. Like Roo pushed Lou or something, not a kick, but some sort of movement. It was awesome and I loved it. Now I wish that they would move again so my nerves would calm down from fearing that they are suffering too.

I have worked so hard in my past to stop being a worrier. I did exactly what my Gammy would always tell me to do - give it to God. I would pray about the situation and I would be calm and not worried - it worked every single time. Now that I have babies inside me, babies that God specifically gave to me and my family. The worries have returned. I try to give these worries to God, unfortunately, Satan continues to whisper awful things in my ear. So, if you are the praying kind, please say a prayer for Roo, Lou, and me.

Thanks for listening to my whining. I promise this won't be a continued thing. As I said earlier, I would much rather be going through all of this than not having these two beautiful babes inside me.

I've been shot!

2009-10-23T17:13:00.000-07:00

I got it! Yahoo!!!

This wonderful band aid is covering my H1N1 vaccination that I just received today. I am so relieved! I have been surrounded by sick kids at my job lately and I was starting to get nervous about the delays in getting the vaccinations.

It will be nice to go to school on Monday and not be so jumpy about it. :-)

16 weeks

2009-10-19T20:03:00.000-07:00

The hubbs says I look ready to pop! I still have a little over 6 months left! Will find out the genders on November 11th!!! Yay for Roo and Lou!

mud and blood...

2009-10-18T21:25:00.000-07:00

... is the perfect title for our day at the pumpkin patch!

As soon as we got there the kiddo headed upstairs to the hay maze while we waited for the hay ride to pick us up. Next thing I know, I see her running to her Daddy crying. I thought she just freaked out when she didn't see us, turns out, she had run into a pole and got a bloody nose! Poor kiddo.

After we cleaned her up and calmed her down, out to the patch we went! When got out and she went running for the perfect pumpkin. She ran up and down.

She ran across

She looked at lots and lots of pumpkins

until she found the right one.

She was very happy with her small sized pumpkin. She carried it back to wait for the hay ride back to the farm. Once we got back, she cleaned it up herself.

And all was good in the world. The pumpkin is now in its rightful place sitting on our porch with quite a scary face.

fantastic time

2009-10-05T20:03:00.000-07:00

The kiddo and I attended the Puyallup Fair awhile ago and were able to attend the TobyMac/Third Day concert. We had a great day together!

When we got to the fair we went to an exhibit called Al's Brain, which starred Weird Al. It was an interesting exhibit to say the least. The kiddo liked it and she learned a lot. She wanted to touch the brain, but chickened out at the last moment. After that we went to the rides. She loved the rides! We also ran into a noisy music stand that she played with for quite some time!

We ate and then headed over to the concert. She loved seeing TobyMac! She danced and sang - loving every minute! We sat off the ground to ensure that she would be able to see and not get smashed by anyone, the seats turned out to be primo seats, perfect shot of the stage!

Third Day put on a good show. It was almost exactly as I saw a few months ago and the kiddo started getting tired, so we left early. We could hear the music and only missed about 3 songs.

I am so thankful for the day that we spent together. All that walking and excitement of the day wore me out more than I was prepared and I spent the next day in bed, but it was worth it. I love spending special days with my kiddo.

This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you

2009-09-25T19:31:00.000-07:00

When children hear their parents say "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you." The kids usually moan and think yeah, right. Now that I have to do things to my daughter that hurt me, I completely understand what my Mother was saying.

The kiddo has had a rough start with school this year. Last year she got along great with her teacher and loved going to school to see her. They had a great relationship and still do. This year I requested a teacher recommended by a few fellow teachers and friends because she teaches like the Kiddo's kindergarten teacher did. Unfortunately, the kiddo has been acting out in class/talking out of turn/being very touchy with the other kids. It concerns the teacher and it greatly concerns me, because I don't want my child to be considered a problem child that teachers warn other teachers about. (and they do, whether you want to believe it or not, teachers do speak about their students to the other teachers and "warn" them when they know who will be in their class.)

When I attended the kiddo's open house on Tuesday I learned of her behavior and decided we needed to set up some consequences that would happen if her behavior continued. Right now, one of the consequences was having to sit in the corner for 20 minutes. It seems extreme, but I wanted extreme measures to stop the behavior as soon as possible.

She is sitting there right now and it is killing me because I want to play with her. I want to read with her and do homework with her. I want to get ready for bed and cuddle with her and smell her hair. I want to talk with her about the fair and the concert tomorrow. I don't want to sit in the living room while listening to her breathe in the dining room while we are both sad.

I am praying that this is a quick, short phase that she will grow out of soon. I don't know how much more of this I can take!

happenings

2009-09-24T16:11:00.000-07:00

Being sick while pregnant is so much worse than just being sick. I did make it harder on myself than need be though. On Tuesday I came home sick and pretty much whined all evening about how crappy I was feeling. On Wednesday I stayed home and called my OB, whining again about how crappy I felt, to which I was told; "you can take medicine."

WHAT?!

Last time I was pregnant I swear I was told not to take anything. With this wonderful news I took some Dayquil and started feeling better. The Hubbs brought home some Robitussin and I went to bed about 7:30PM and slept. I woke up feeling so much better. Yay for cold medicine! Now the kiddo has some sniffles - I really hope she doesn't get sick, we have a big weekend coming up!

We are planning on going to the Puyallup Fair. It is one of our states' biggest fairs and we get to see TobyMac in concert!

I love him! He is an amazing artist and his concerts blow my mind! I am so excited the Kiddo will be able to see him. She has been looking forward to this concert all summer long!

I am also looking forward to the food. Me and my babies want a krusty pup (corn dog) and some scones! Maybe a popcorn ball and a elephant ear as well. Mmmmm!

In other news, I am 12 weeks along now! WOOHOO! I see my OB on Saturday before we head to the fair. I did find out at my last appointment that I will be able to get 1 or 2 3D/4D ultrasounds. I am very excited for them as I can really tell what the babies will look like. He also said I would be able to find out the genders sooner with those as well. My first once will be in another month or so and all 3 of us will be going to see it.

Yay for babies!!!

First day of work at a High School

2009-09-09T21:32:00.000-07:00

It was a little insane for a little bit! I arrived early to make sure I figured out where everything was. I went to this High School and wow, has it changed! I am working with students who need extra help in math - which is a little scary because I am not very good at math. As long as I pay attention to the teacher while she is instructing the class, I should be good though!

First period was going just fine until I started sweating. All of a sudden I was so hot and felt very nauseous. I excused myself from the classroom and headed outside, hoping the fresh air would help. Unfortunately, I started getting worse and ran to the garbage can because I was ready to throw up. The feeling came, the noise came, and that was it. I got very dizzy and the next thing I remember was me sitting on the ground and seeing a woman walk out of the library. She hollered over to me if I needed help and I answered "Yes!"

She came over to me, picked me up and helped me get to the nurses' office where I laid down for about 15 minutes. I finally started feeling better, but now everyone at my work knows I am pregnant because all I kept saying was "I'm pregnant." I know the secretary automatically thought I was coming down with the swine flu. I headed back to class and told the teacher that I am having terrible morning sickness and headed off to my next class.

The teacher I work with for most of the day seems like an awesome lady. We are the same age and I enjoy her class. She seems like she will be fun to work with.

I ate lunch in the staff break room. SO WEIRD! I ate lunch with my Biology teacher and my psychology teacher. They remembered me, which actually shocked me. The beginning of the year I am always a little dazed to be working with my old teachers. We had a pep assembly today and I stood with the teachers! WEIRD! I will finally be comfortable with it around February/March, which means by the time I leave I will finally be comfortable!

I called my OB when I got home and he said while it concerned him that it sounds like morning sickness, but to call him if it happens again. I needed to rest for the rest of the day, which means I let down my Childrens' Ministry leader again by not being able to attend a Wednesday evening class, but what can I do? My babies are my main concern right now.

I'm praying that tomorrow goes a lot smoother!

for your viewing pleasure...

2009-09-06T00:04:00.000-07:00

That picture above is of myself, my friend D, (8 other chicks) and Danny, Donnie, Jordan, Joey, and Jon - AKA New Kids On The Block!! Eeeeeekkk!!!! I was hoping to get my picture with my arms AROUND Joe, but most of the girls flocked to him. My arm is behind one girl with a death grip on Joe's arm. Took long enough to get the picture, but I am so happy I finally got it!!!

farm town, backyard style

2009-09-04T23:53:00.000-07:00

With a late start, we planted a cherry tomato plant, purchased from the local Farmers' Market into a Topsy Turvy in June. The picture above shows the first lone tomato that grew on the plant. I ate that tomato and it was pretty darn good.

Now it has given us a few more delicious little morsels that my daughter and me have enjoyed. I am definitely buying another next year to grow more. I think I am going to keep it on my porch next year so 1) I remember to water it more and 2) its warmer on my porch that outside in the back and I think I can get them a little bigger.

The kiddo ran into the house the other day and announced that she had pulled a couple of tomatoes from the plant and ate them. It was nice to hear that she went for something healthy than running in and asking for a popsicle. She loves the carrots out back as well. She would have liked the beans as well if the darn things would have grown this year.

With the twins coming, I certainly hope that we can grow everything we try next year. It would be nice to be able to snack on free food from the back.

Updates

2009-09-04T00:28:00.000-07:00

Not very many things have been going on (besides TWINS!) lately only because I have been taking it very easy. It's what I have been hearing from people left and right. Take it easy, sit down, don't go overboard, etc, etc. Not surprising, I have gained a couple of pounds since I don't do much lately but it is ok - two babies are growing inside me, I will grow this time.

My cravings have been insane. Usually something with salt - saltines, pretzels, french fries, and nuts. Chocolate has not been something I have been wanting, which is weird for me as I am a choco-holic. We went to McD's tonight and I ordered a dipped ice cream cone, took a couple of bites and tossed it, yet tried to steal the Hubbs fries!

I can only wear maternity pants already. They don't fit as well as I had hoped, but that will change in a month or so. They are a little too loose around the waist. I bought 1X pants only because the XL pants fit perfect and I knew that wouldn't last long! It's funny to put on my normal shirts and see them become form fitting instead of loose around my belly. My chest is getting bigger too, which that is MORE than welcomed!! :)

Well, I am starting my last weekend before school starts. I could hear the High School marching band practice, which got me excited to start working at the High School this year. I am really looking forward to it, I believe we actually have a football game next Friday which I WILL be attending. It will be fun to be a part of that again. I am a little sad about only getting able to work part of the year up there, but that sadness is completely overwhelmed with the excitement of the babies. I get to hear their heartbeats on Tuesday and plan on bringing the Hubbs and the kiddo.

Well, that is my update for now. It's 12:30AM, I need to get my rear of this recliner and into bed!

oink, oink

2009-09-01T03:38:00.000-07:00

One thing that has been on my mind (and a lot of other pregnant women) is the Swine Flu craze that is going on. The baby online community board I am a part of continuously has debates going on about the vaccine. I have decided to get to vaccine when it is available and I have a few reasons why.

1. Both my regular doctor and OB have recommended that I get it.

2. Yes, it is new, but the regular flu vaccine is brand new every year as well and I get that.

3. The Swine flu is dangerous to pregnant women, not just the fetus. I don't know the exact number, but pregnant women who get the Swine Flu have a higher percentage of DYING. I had thought that the concern was the baby being hurt, but its not. My Dr told me that someone in Washington recently went to the Dr, found out she had the Swine Flu, and went to the hospital. They had to take the baby and she died. This isn't an isolated case. This is happening across the country.

4. I work at a High School now. Those kids are more disgusting than preschoolers!

I know my views are exactly that, MINE. I can't put myself in that type of risky situation. I need to make sure I am here to care for my children. To me, the benefits completely outweigh the risks.

The main risk that concerns me is Guillain-Barre Syndrome. It sounds like quite the monster syndrome, but I am pretty darn sure I will be ok. Why?

Because I really don't think God would bless my family with twins and then take them away. I am trusting Him to take care of us and I am trusting Him that the strong feelings I have about getting this vaccine are also Him letting me know that I will be ok.

So that's my story (concerning Swine Flu) and I'm sticking to it.

So far, so good

2009-08-24T10:35:00.001-07:00

Things have definitely been amped up with twins, as Dr. M told me it would be. I'm not getting sick in the throw up kind of way, just nauseous at separate times in the morning, afternoon and evening. Very fatigued. I just want to lay down and veg, which I have been doing quite a bit of. I figure this is the only time I really can during this pregnancy since school is starting soon, so I might as well live it up.

I am definitely having cravings. Usually for eggs or some type of Mexican food containing refried beans. Yesterday I seriously had the best food EVER. I got a Carne Asada burrito and it was fabulous. I am doing everything I can NOT to go get another one.

I am not overly cautious with this pregnancy, which is sort of weird for me. I have a Pepsi when I am craving it, which is only 1 or 2 times a week. I'm not freaking out about losing Roo and Lou like I was with the kiddo. I am much more calm and it is proving to be an enjoyable pregnancy with that aspect.

My next appointment is in 2 weeks and I am planning on taking the kiddo so she can hear the heartbeats. She is so excited, which makes every single step of this so much more enjoyable!

surprise!

2009-08-19T19:54:00.000-07:00

I am having TWINS! I am shocked and overjoyed at the same time. I had my exam and ultrasound yesterday. During the ultrasound my most awesome OB, Dr. M, was looking around and said "Oh my ..., your having twins!" We were all freaking out, the nurses came in and looked and by the time I left, the whole office was congratulating me. It was definitely an awesome experience.

There are so many things running through my mind. What do I need 2 of? What can I use only 1 of? Am I going to have a C-Section now? The original due date was April 10th, but now I will deliver no later than 36 weeks it sounds so my babies will be here in March.

I am considered a high risk pregnancy now, which makes me a little nervous, but I know God will take care of me. I really wanted a room full of people present while I gave birth, but only the Hubbs can accompany me into the room for a C-Section.

I joined a pregnancy board when I found out we were expecting and I just announced the twins (Roo and now Lou) and all the love I am getting is so nice. I am so thankful I have the support of my family, friends, church, and a online community to talk to about everything. I love it!

Do you want to see my babies? Check these cuties out!

Lou is on top and I am already referring to Lou as the shy one since s/he is hiding. Roo is on the bottom and is out and about checking out his/her new digs for the next few months.

God is SO GREAT!!

Thank God for Tums

2009-08-16T17:35:00.000-07:00

Morning sickness.

Afternoon sickness.

Evening sickness.

Night sickness.

They all have some to say hello to me during the last week. Don't get me wrong, I welcome the sickness, because it means my hormones are raging and my body is getting used to this wonderful life inside me.

I'll gladly be sick every day for the next 8 months, though do I want to be sick? Nope.

Today was the first experience with morning sickness. It has mainly been coming late afternoon/early evening. I had to leave church and I was not happy about that. After spending the afternoon in bed, I am starting to feel better, but I am not leaving my bed. Thank goodness I don't have to go back to work for a couple more weeks so this can subside (hopefully).

So off I go, turning the lights back off and laying down. Maybe watching a movie. Just taking it easy before the busyness of school starts up again soon.

beginning and end

2009-08-14T08:15:00.000-07:00

All the happiness and joy I have been experiencing with the glorious news of a new life growing inside me, I am also dealing with the sadness of my Papa who is dying as I type this. His birthday is September 8th and would be turning 88, though most, if not all, of the people who know his situation know we most likely will not be celebrating life.

Three years ago my Gammy (Grandma) passed away and Papa's heart went with her. He hasn't been the same without her. His eyes have darkened and I haven't heard him laugh since, well, I don't know when it was.

Yesterday I went to see him at his home. I could barely speak with him because he could barely hear me, even with hearing aides. He's not eating and he has lost so much weight his dentures are not staying in. His voice is very raspy and his blood pressure is very, very low.

I am thankful that he knows he is heading to his mansion with my Gammy and the Lord. Most of my family members are being overly emotional, mainly because they don't have the assurance I do of seeing Papa again. If anything, I am happy that he will no longer be in pain and he will be where he really wants to be.

I praise God for the assurance of His peace and His presence in our lives.

two lines

2009-08-11T22:28:00.001-07:00

Two lines are the two somethings I spoke about in yesterdays post. Here they are...

I'm Pregnant!!!! Praise GOD!! He answers prayers! He gives us the desires of our hearts!

I am overwhelmed at His perfect timing. Every single person I have told has had such a wonderful reaction. There is so much love and happiness from everyone. The kiddo has been amazing with how she is reacting. She is already kissing my belly and reading the baby stories.

We have decided to nickname the baby Roo so we don't refer to the baby as "it" "the baby" or anything like that. I have loved the idea of a nickname for Roo for quite some time. A friend of mine even used it while she was pregnant with her sweet little boy.

The Hubbs was so happy when he found out. He got teared up and everything! Everything is happening so perfect, I love it!

My tummy is already growing (even though I have lost 4 pounds in the last month!) so I already had to purchase some maternity pants. I am finding that I can fit into smaller pants than I had before. I even got an XL skirt from Target that fits me perfectly! I love that!

I will try to keep my blog updated more and more as things with Roo progress. I am due in April. I really don't care if I have a boy or a girl, I am thrilled enough to be pregnant!

Praise the Lord - He is SO Good!!!

summertime

2009-08-09T23:18:00.000-07:00

What a busy summer my family is having! We have been on the go it seems since school got out. We had a visit from my niece from Virgina, went to the Great Wolf Lodge, attended many picnics, the kiddo has had swimming lessons and science classes at the YMCA, Vacation Bible School was the last week in July and that was insanely crazy!

Things were slowing down a bit, until recently that is. I won't reveal what is going on just yet, but soon. We are about to go on an adventure and all I will say is that it involves 2 something.

More to come this week....

Have this for dinner - TONIGHT!!

2009-07-13T18:33:00.000-07:00

Thai salad with pork

I stumbled upon this salad while waiting to see my doctor today. I had to go to the grocery store anyway, so I bought everything for this salad and whipped it up for dinner. It is so good!!!!

You can find the recipe here and check out the picture below (notice that snake trying to nab a bite!)

a howling good time

2009-07-10T21:04:00.000-07:00

Don't you love my silly title? lol

My stepmom took the kiddo and myself and 4 of my nieces and nephews AND my stepsister to the Great Wolf Lodge yesterday. We had a wonderful time! There is so much to do there. Huge water park, adult spa, kids spa, arcade, story time, really nice exchange store, 2 yummy restaurants, and a magical trek through the lodge that looked like a lot of fun!

The lodge was so beautiful.

Story time for the kids. The kiddo seemed to enjoy it.

Wiley the Wolf made an appearance.

The kiddo loved the water park! She went down a bunch of slides, but got hurt on one and didn't want to go on anymore after that. It took quite a bit of pushing to get her back on and she loved it again!

She also loved playing in the kiddie pool section.

I hope we are able to go back!

dreams do come true

2009-07-08T10:14:00.000-07:00

I met them. I finally met them!! Yesterday I lived out a dream I have had for 20 years! I met and hugged, Danny, Donnie, Jordan, Joey, and Jonathan!!! I grew up listening to New Kids On The Block and last year when they announced that they were reuniting and going on tour, I was SO EXCITED!

It was amazing to see them again in concert last November and I was so thankful I had the opportunity, but I was a little disappointed that I didn't get to meet them. So I was excited and so thankful when my friend Dannielle called me up and asked me if I would like to go with her to the concert with 5 star VIP tickets!

So here is how our day played out...

D and I arrived at the venue and immediately looked around to find out where we needed to be to get in, found the gate and had to wait for almost 2 hours, just to get in. We chatted with some ladies around us and had a good time. Got very nervous/antsy waiting to meet them.

Once we got in, we went into a building for a BBQ, which really ended up being a not so fancy lunch, but I couldn't eat much, I was way too nervous and could feel my stomach already tying itself into knots. We received NKOTB gift bags with a towel, chap stick, and sun block, of course all NKOTB'd out! We also got a pair of Full Service New Kids under-roo's! Unfortunately for me, they were a size medium! Phooey! Oh well, I can wear them on my head! LOL

D and I were in group A, which meant we met them first. We stood in line and finally heard the screaming and out popped Donnie's head and we flipped out! Truly feeling like I was going to either A. start balling or B. throw up, the big ol' black bodyguard let us in - IT WAS AMAZING!!!!

First in line was Danny, I gave him a hug and went for Donnie, I had the biggest smile on my face and he returned it with a big smile and a big hug, such a wonderful hug! I will never forget the squeeze, his hug was just amazing as I whispered "I love you!" in his ear.

Next was Jordan, who disappointed me a little, he didn't seem very into it and his hug was not very convincing of even wanting to be there. Though of course, he asked me how I was and my reply? "I'm WONDERFUL!!!"

Joey Joe was next and he is exactly my height, so I looked straight into his eyes and let me tell you, his eyes are the most piercing blue, beautiful blue, I have ever seen. He asks me how I am and all I can say is "I love you!" We hugged, but all I can remember are his beautiful eyes!

Jon was last in line, and he gave me a hug and said nice to meet you to which I replied "I love you!" Very quiet, but he is very handsome.

I just reveled in their presence and heard the lady say "let's take a picture!" I turned around and she was getting ready to snap the first one and realized I didn't have my arms around one of them, so just leaned into Joey, holding his arm and smiled.

They said thank you and we were escorted out of the meet and greet. Total time with the boys, maybe 2 minutes. I didn't get an autograph, which bummed me out, but I still got to meet them, hug them and talk to them, defiantly worth it! Once we stepped out, D and I started jumping up and down giggling like tweens.

We wandered around for a little bit before heading to the stage, finally got there and found our seats - row 7 baby! Great seats right up front. We watched Jabawokeez, who were quite awesome and then Jesse McCarthy, who I swear was 15, but turns out he is 22.

Finally, our boys came on stage and they can definitely put on a show! There was one point in the show all the fans just started screaming and we wouldn't die down, we freaked out for maybe 2-3 minutes while the boys just stood there soaking it in. It seemed a couple of them even teared up a little, especially Donnie.

I had brought a big sign that said We Love Our Boys! Face Time! and the person in front of me bent over for a second and Donnie looked at the right time and saw it - pointed to me, looked at me and smiled. That was awesome! Jordan noticed the sign as well and pointed at me as well. Donnie also noticed my friends' sign and winked at her, it was quite awesome.

At one point in the show it hit me like a ton of bricks, I had met them, I met the icons of my youth and I just started crying. So thankful for this opportunity. So thankful that I got to live out one of my childhood dreams. Words can not describe how much it meant to me. To know how much the boys love their fans.

It also really felt like last night was my last chance to see them, it really felt like the end, that there wouldn't be any more CD's, concerts, or New Kids. I hope that feeling was wrong, but I am so glad I finally got to meet them.

I have adored these boys (er, men) for years and I am so thankful that I finally got to tell them face to face.

p.s. - picture will be posted as soon as I get it!

a kamping experience

2009-07-06T15:16:00.000-07:00

This 4th of July was spent in a tent far away from our house. We haven't been camping in awhile and I am so glad we went! I stayed at a KOA (Kampgrounds of America) for the first time and we all LOVED it!

The one we stayed at is really big on kid activities, they all have some, but this one goes above and beyond. They had a pool, mini-golf, monster bikes, hayrides, craft activities, a game room, a movie in the meadow, and a movie in a tent, Ice Cream Socials, a camp wide wienie roast/potluck, karaoke, and puppy playgrounds! It was so much fun!

Of course, I forgot a camera. Grrrr. I bought a single use camera to use, but didn't take many photos.

I am addicted to KOA's now, they are so great for families with kids. My kiddo spent almost the whole weekend in the pool, but we also got to do a lot of other things. The bathrooms/showers left a lot to be desired, but it was great!

Hopefully I will be able to talk the hubbs into going again next month!

saddened

2009-06-25T21:09:00.000-07:00

Think what you want, I always thought Michael Jackson was an amazing talent and I loved his music and performances. My Mom and I used to rock out all the time to his music. His music is the soundtrack to a lot of memories of me and Mom and I am sad to know that I will never see anything from him again.

for better, for worse

2009-06-23T11:46:00.000-07:00

I never watched Jon and Kate plus 8 before. I always thought it was nothing more than a way for some parents to make money off their kids. I still feel that way, but I actually watched 2 episodes this season. They have been plastered all over the media, so of course, my curiosity was peaked.

I think I can tell you what (I think) happened to the marriage. This might come as a shock to some that I am going to say this, but it is truly how I feel.

They put their children first.

Whoa... I said it.

What do you think will happen when a couple has been married, giving so much to the other, then, they have a baby (or 8) and all the attention goes to the child and no longer to your spouse.

If all you give to your spouse to 5 minutes in the morning, an dinner conversation of bills, and a evening good night, what do you expect will happen to a marriage? It will deteriorate, because you put everything you have into your children, your job, your outside activities, but not to the person who started it all with you.

I hear it all the time. "My kids are my number one priority." "Kids come first" "If he did something I don't like, he's out!"

Seriously people????

I love my daughter so, so much. She is a HUGE piece of me, but I know someday she is going to move away, get married, and have children. She will have her own life. I will still be a part of it, but I won't be everything that I am now to her.

If I spend all my time, my energy, and focus on her, how in the world am I going to continue to strengthen my relationship with my husband? With God? What is going to happen once she moves out and I discover that I haven't really talked to my husband? I don't want to be in a house with a man I barely know anymore. I want to continue living my life with my best friend. The man that God gave to me.

The bible says

Mark 10:7-9 (New International Version)
7'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife 8and the two will become one flesh. 'So they are no longer two, but one. 9Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

The Hubbs and I are one flesh now. Our child was created through our love and God's love. She will go out and find a husband to become one flesh with. I hope I raise her to know that God is her first priority, then her Husband, then her children. I don't love her any less than any other parent and I know I have many people who know me and my child who always tell me I am a great Mommy and our bond is very, very strong.

Marriage is taken way too lightly. It is a vow you made before God (whether or not you had your wedding in a church). Your husband/wife is not like a car, you can not trade it in for a new model after this one gives you problems.

Don't forget those words you said on that wonderful day when you pledged your heart to your spouse...

I _____, take you ______, to be my wedded wife/husband.
To have and to hold, from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish
'till death do us part.
And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.

a fabulous weekend

2009-06-22T17:55:00.000-07:00

This past weekend brought summer vacation (yay!) and lots of fun activities for me and the fam. On Wednesday, my church held a carnival to kick off the summer program. It was quite a bit of fun! We had about 10 kids that I had never seen before attend the carnival - I hope they come back again!

On Thursday, I headed off to a Women's Retreat with many ladies from my church. It was a great experience and we had a lot of fun.

That night was also the kiddo's last tball game of the season. Before the game even started she hurt herself and has some pretty good scabs and bruises.

Friday evening, I headed back into town for the Hubb's GRADUATION!!! He graduated from a local community college and is heading to Washington State University for his Masters.

I came back Saturday and spent some quality cuddle time with the kiddo and made some pies for the hubbs and my Dad. The next day was Fathers' Day, so we traveled to my Dad's to give him his requested homemade cherry pie and headed back home for the Hubbs to enjoy his blueberry homemade pie. The kiddo and I then made dinner for the Hubbs, paella, which I had never made before.

The kiddo liked it, but Hubbs was not too fond of it. I think she liked it because she made it with me for her Daddy.

A great weekend to kick off my summer vacation!

Rain forest

2009-06-18T10:45:00.000-07:00

The Hubbs, the kiddo, and the in-laws headed up to the Olympic National Rain Forest yesterday and he took some gorgeous pictures that I must share with the world!

I am glad I sent him with the camera!!!

this sums up this past week...

2009-06-15T13:25:00.000-07:00

click here if you would like to make a wordle

a new read

2009-06-11T20:52:00.000-07:00

I just started reading a book by Jake Colsen titled So you don't want to go to church anymore - an unexpected journey into the reality of the Father's family. I just only finished chapter two, but came across something powerful that I want to share.

"Won't it be a joy again to wake up confident about being loved by God every day, without having to earn it by any act of righteousness on your part? That is the secret to first love. Don't try to earn it. Know that you are accepted and loved, not for what you can do for God, or somehow hoping that you will be worthy of His acceptance, but because His greatest desire is to have you as one of His children. Jesus came to remove any obstacle that would prevent that from happening."

It isn't how many committees I am on or how involved in my church I am. It is our heart, our love for God that will determine our eternity. Too many people are focused on what they can do for God and not on their own relationship with God.

I am definitely not stating that we shouldn't do things for God, but how can we fully help and/or guide others if we are not fully aware or committed to our own relationship with Him?

outside activities

2009-06-09T06:08:00.000-07:00

The kiddo loves to play outside and has found many opportunities lately to do so.

Birthday parties, BBQ's, and other celebrations have allowed for a lot of play time.

She is definitely an "outdoorsy" type of chick, so unlike her mother.

a day in the park

2009-06-07T21:28:00.000-07:00

A very special friend of mine got married back in March in Hawaii and the reception was held yesterday at a beautiful park about an hour away from me. The fam got into the truck all waiting for our "Jen time." Especially the kiddo, on the way up she kept asking if we were there yet, which she never does, so I knew she had been missing someone quite a bit!

As soon as we got there, the kiddo ran out of the truck looking for her, found her, and gave her a big old hug. They even went for a walk to catch up!

It was a luau and the food was SO good! The kiddo even commented that the pulled pork was her favorite food EVER!

As my friend and her husband were greeting guests, I walked around taking pictures (whats new?). This park was my picture paradise!

That bee was out to get me...

I could sense that it was about to attack, so I left it alone with the yellow petticoats.

The cake was very pretty and very yummy!

And they didn't smash it in each others faces - which surprised me as I would definitely expect the Mr. to do it in a heart beat!

I love weddings :)

Mmmmm...

2009-06-06T08:28:00.001-07:00

I made the perfect batch of brownies last night...

... from a box!

I don't like to make treats from a box because I love to bake from scratch, but I just really wanted chocolate and sugar last night.

I made cake like brownies, family size (13x9), and put chocolate and peanut butter chips in half of it so we had options for our brownie experience. Poured it in my Pampered Chef rectangular baker and baked it for 30 minutes.

They are PERFECT! I have never had a better brownie.

I had to blog about it.

falling back

2009-06-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

I feel like I am going backwards in my walk with God. When I gave my life to Him in 2001 I felt like I had an immediate connection with Him. I could feel His presence and life was hard, but He made it known to me that He was with me.

I fell away by my own doing for a couple of years. I still went to church and prayed and occasionally read my bible, but I wasn't living for Him. I went to bars and used foul language and all sorts of sinful things.

In 2005, I rededicated my life and have been growing ever since, well, at least it seems until recently. I don't know if I just haven't found my "sweet spot" as Max Lucado calls it or if it is something deeper. I don't know if what I am doing in my church is what God wants me to do or if I am doing it just to be doing it.

Is it wrong to feel as though I am not good enough for God? I know that no one is worthy of Gods' love, it is His free gift to us and all we have to do is ask. Well, I have asked and I know I have felt His presence with me. If you haven't ever felt it, I will try to explain it.

You know how it feels when you have your back to the door of a room and when someone comes in, sometimes you can feel that presence? Sometimes it is just like that. You know that no one is physically in the room with you, but His spirit is there and you can feel it. I have also been in prayer and felt arms around me, not the actual touch of arms, but the weight of arms around me.

I don't remember always feeling like I wasn't good enough for Him. It just seems lately that I can't comprehend why He would love me. When I am down in the dumps (which, unfortunately, feels like I am a lot lately) it really hits. Tonight I was listening to my pastor talk about the book of life and I thought to myself, what if I am not in that book? What if my faith isn't strong enough?

Oy, the what if's.

I am awaiting a book from Amazon that I am hoping will help me with this issue I am having about not be good enough. I will wait until I read it to blog about it, but I am really in need of things that will lift me up and help me to grow closer to God. It seems whatever I have been doing isn't helping me very much.

The Womens Ministry group at my church is having our annual retreat in a couple of weeks. I am really in need of it right now.

a hill of memories

2009-05-31T00:43:00.000-07:00

Twenty years ago I used to climb up this hill after school while I attended elementary school. I remember playing on this hill on all the different trails and using my very active imagination as I was a woods princess who lived among the animals in the forest.

I remember standing close to the hill, just enough to see a tree house stick out from the trees and as long as I could remember, in that tree house a hermit lived. He was not a nice hermit and no one ever saw him, but we knew he was there.

I remember one day after a sleep over my friends and I climbed all the way to the top of the hill and finally saw what was on the other side, a rock quarry. We saw a deer on our walk and found a new way to a neighborhood we never knew was there.

I love that I still go to places like this as an adult and I can tell my daughter about the hermit and listen to my husband talk about the kids climbing the hill and responding that I have done that myself. It is one of the nice things I get to do while raising my kiddo in the same small town I grew up in.

ballet and baseball...

2009-05-24T22:58:00.000-07:00

... is all we have been doing lately in this household, well at least, it feels like it!

The kiddo had her first ballet recital this weekend and I am so glad it is over! The show was great, we are all exhausted! Many special people came to watch the kiddo perform and she definitely felt like a prima ballerina. To see the smile on her face and sit on her (church) Grandma's lap was a wonderful feeling.

She also ripped out her 3rd tooth! Yanked it out all by herself - cracks me up that she likes to do it, only kid I know who doesn't get all freaked out about it.

This is the group of dancers she was with. They were called the Oriental Dancers and did a very cute dance with fans.

They were so funny to watch, most waving to Mommy or Daddy in the audience.

We also played baseball this past week. She is really loving it and actually played instead of dancing in the field or digging in the dirt.

As we were leaving Wal*Mart on Saturday with her new Peek-a-Boo Barbie heading to Baskin Robbins for ice cream, she announced "this is the best year EVER!"

I must admit, it just keeps getting better and better.